In The Hamptons
by angie1379
Summary: Castle and Kate finally get to the Hamptons for Memorial Day. "His face glowed with that infectious, boyish pride that she had once found so annoying and now was completely enamored by. My how things change, she thought." Reviews much appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

**In The Hamptons**

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**I began this story as a fun, little piece for Memorial Day, based on Castle's tweet a few weeks back that he wanted to head to the Hamptons for the holiday weekend. And what better way to start off a new relationship than with a few days at the beach? However, my "simple" story kept going, and a brief one-shot started turning into a multi-chapter story that covers a lot more than a few days of sand and surf. Hope you enjoy …**

**Rated M for future chapters.**

**Disclaimer: Not an ounce of ownership to be had – but that doesn't make me love them any less.**

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The house was not what she had expected. Based on the interior design of the loft, she'd expected his house in the Hamptons to be all sleek angles and polished metal and glass. Instead, he pulled up in front of a stone cottage-style two-story that looked to be at least seventy-five years old. In fact, compared to many of the homes they'd passed on their way, it was undoubtedly among the oldest by several decades.

"Surprised?"

"A bit, I admit," Kate said. "But pleasantly. It's gorgeous, Castle."

"Thanks. It was love at first sight. I came out here looking for one of those flashy modern condo-style places closer to town, but I took one look at this place, and had to have it. The fact that it was right on the beach just sealed the deal."

His face glowed with that infectious, boyish pride that she had once found so annoying and now was completely enamored by. _My how things change_, she thought.

The house was so quintessentially East Coast that the diablo red Ferrari they pulled up in seemed both anachronistic and stylistically out of place. An old-fashioned Woody station wagon would have suited the driveway much better. The property was located on the eastern edge of Montauk, fairly removed from the epicenter of the social scene in Southampton and East Hampton. The house was steps from the ocean, and was surrounded by trees and wildlife. Kate was enchanted.

"How long have you owed it?" she asked with genuine curiosity.

"About ten years. Alexis loved going to the beach so much that it just seemed easier – and cheaper – to have somewhere we could come anytime we wanted, instead of making reservations or renting a different house or condo when the whim struck."

It was Memorial Day weekend, and getting Kate to agree to a week away had been far easier than Castle had feared. That fear, he admitted, was likely based more on habit than anything else these days. Rarely in the past four years had he been able to get her to agree to anything without her acting as though he was devising some plot to seduce her, which admittedly, he occasionally was. But not all the time. And even though there were a few times she agreed to a movie or dinner with him – more so in the past year – the reality was that he had become pretty conditioned to expect a refusal, or at the very least, an argument. So when she said, "That sounds wonderful," to his "casual" suggestion that they go the Hamptons for Memorial Day, he still did a double take.

And she had called him on it.

"Why do you seem surprised I said yes?"

"I'm just not used to getting that answer from you without using a crow bar."

She smiled guiltily, and admitted, "It's something I've been working on."

Things were still so new and so tentative between them. Even reaching out to clasp her hand sent an uncontrollable thrill shooting through his system. In the three weeks since she'd shown up at his door, soaking wet and trying to make up for every mistake they'd both ever made, life had taken on a surreal quality. They'd made love with such ferocious tenderness that night, holding fast to every kiss and caress as they'd given in to four years of longing. He'd worked so hard to commit every second of that night to memory, and he could still close his eyes and feel his fingers move along every inch of her skin for the first time. A hundred kisses later, he could still feel her lips on his that night, so eager and soft, trying to cram years' worth of emotion into each second. It was a night that he knew would change his life forever.

Finding their new rhythm had proven a novel and interesting challenge. Waking up with her in his arms had been a dream come true. Making breakfast brought familiar banter that affirmed they were still "them." When she'd left to go back to her apartment after their second night together, he felt like his heart had left his body to accompany her. But he knew she needed time to adjust. So did he. She knew he needed time with Alexis. Which he did. And she was only gone for one night, but his bed never felt so empty. And when he'd shown up at her place to take her out for lunch the next day, they never made it past the island in her kitchen before she was wrapped around him with their clothes tangled and scattered to accommodate the frantic pace of their lovemaking.

And so it went, day after day, learning how to handle the blaze they'd ignited. Any fear that being together would cause their feelings to flare and burn out was quickly proven wrong. If anything, each kiss, each touch, each time he moved inside her, only added to that fire and helped it grow.

The only hitch had been her job – or rather, her lack thereof. While she'd had no further communication from Gates, neither to confirm nor contest her resignation, Ryan and Esposito, who himself was still on leave, had been relentless in their pleas for her eventual return. The most she could offer them was a promise to think about it, which she did. Castle, meanwhile, had remained uncharacteristically silent on the matter, telling her to let it be for now, that there was no rush to make a permanent decision. Kate had decided he was right. They had enough going on, and call it newfound intuition where he was concerned, but she knew this wasn't a wedge or a time bomb like other things they never talked about. When they were ready, they would discuss it.

Back in the present, Castle took her hand across the span of the front seat, their eyes meeting intently, confirming their thoughts were running parallel. It had been an amazing few weeks, and now they had the house and the beach to themselves – at least until Alexis arrived on Monday. But that still gave them almost two full days alone together. Whatever would they do?

"Come on, let me show you around."

They climbed out of the car and grabbed their scant luggage. Castle already had most of his stuff here, and he'd assured Kate she wouldn't need much more than her bathing suit and a few pieces of casual clothes. Still, she managed to cram quite a lot into a deceptively small bag. Then again, some of it didn't exactly have a lot of material.

The house was a perfect balance of authentic period décor and modern convenience. The original wainscoting in the dining room offered a tasteful contrast to the sleek stainless steel appliances and granite countertops in the kitchen. Gleaming hardwood floors flowed seamlessly from foyer to family room to kitchen, while the expanse of floor-to-ceiling windows that ran from room to room along the back of the house provided a virtually uninterrupted view of the beach and ocean. Her first sight of it took Kate's breath away.

"There are three bedrooms upstairs, including a master suite with a full bath and second-floor balcony overlooking the water. Two other bedrooms share a bath. There's a full bath off the kitchen, and a shower outside, off the deck, so you can wash off the sand before coming in."

"I gotta say, Castle, I'm impressed. I think I could get used to this."

"See, I told you that you should have come out sooner. Then again," he said, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist, "I'm actually kind of glad you've never been here before."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

Moving her hair to the side, he began nibbling at her neck, sending delicious shivers up her spine. "Because, it would have been my own personal hell to have you here, in a bathing suit, lounging on the deck, wading in the surf, and sleeping under my roof, and not be able to touch you like this. I wouldn't have survived."

His mouth was so warm on her skin, causing her to melt backward against his chest. Thank goodness he seemed to be having an easier time standing up than she was. "To be perfectly honest, I don't think I would have either."

"See Detective, I knew you couldn't resist me. Maybe we could have been doing this long before now."

Her voice was low and breathy as she struggled to formulate a coherent reply. "I guess we'll never know. And I told you, Castle, I'm not a detective anymore."

"Doesn't mean I'm not going to call you that. It's still sexy as hell."

To prove his point, he let his fingers roam to the hem of her shirt, then lift it slowly over her head.

Struggling to focus with his hands skimming up her torso and grazing her breasts beneath the sheer bra, she uttered, "I think it's time you showed me that master suite you were bragging about."

She felt him lean in, and she turned her head just enough for her lips to meet his over her shoulder. She could practically see the electricity crackle between them. "I think you're right," he said, taking her hand and leading her toward the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

**In The Hamptons**

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**Disclaimer: Not an ounce of ownership to be had – but that doesn't make me love them any less.**

**Thank you for all the reviews and story alerts. I hope it continues to live up to expectations.**

**Rated M for future chapters.**

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Chapter 2

A few hours later, Kate was strolling along the beach, her limbs loose and body pleasantly sore from an afternoon in bed with Castle. Every time he touched her now, she wondered how she'd gone so long without it – without him. Being with him had become as vital to her survival as air. It was crazy. They'd worked side by side for four years, and any time her thoughts even drifted toward the attraction she felt to him, she pushed it down so fast – first out of stubborn denial and later for the purpose of self-preservation. How could she possibly work through her own issues and feelings if she was constantly thinking about – or fantasizing about – him? That's not to say she never gave in to those indulgent thoughts, but those private moments were closely guarded. After all, a girl could only resist so much, right? But in the day-to-day, she had to tell herself they were better off as friends. It was the only thing that got her through – until it couldn't anymore. Like a beach ball in water, she could only hold her feeling down so long – and with each passing day, it took more energy than she had to expend pretending she wasn't in love with him.

The surf swirled around her ankles, and Kate shivered at the cold water. Even though it had been an exceptionally warm May, the Atlantic took its sweet time shedding winter's chill. But the cool water felt so good against skin that was still flushed – and getting warmer in the 88-degree heat. After only a few minutes, she could see a sheen of sweat on her arms and feel more begin to run down the back of her tank top. The weekend was going to be sweltering, but maybe she'd get a little color in her pale skin, she thought vainly.

She turned around at the sound of gravel and shells crunching behind her and smiled at the boyish picture he made coming down the walk. Gone were the dark slacks and tailor-made shirts, and in their place were khaki shorts and the blue "Columbia Dad" t-shirt Alexis bought him. His hair was mussed and hanging over his eyes in that way that made him look so irresistibly adorable. This was a side of him she'd seen far too rarely over the years, and she couldn't get enough of it now.

"Watcha doin'?" he asked in silly sing-song voice.

"Nothing much. Just enjoying the view."

"Kate, the ocean's that way," he said, pointing behind her.

Looking him up and down, she said, "Not the view I was referring to."

"Oh really?"

"Can I help it if the beach bum look suits you?"

"It does, doesn't it?" he said, turning in a circle to show off. "Maybe I should adopt it as my new uniform. Ditch the dress clothes and show up at the precinct in shorts …"

He trailed of, aware of what he'd said. The light faded a bit from her eyes, but she smiled and tried to reassure him. "It's okay, Castle. I'm not quite used to it either. Besides, even if I hadn't resigned, I'd still be on leave. Espo's got another two weeks off despite Ryan's best efforts to talk Gates' into letting him come back."

He came up to stand next to her as they walked along the rough sand. Castle's property was far enough from the public beach that the sand was coarser and interspersed with rocks and shells. But he liked that it was more authentic to the East Coast.

"Have you talked to them recently?"

"Not in a few days. You?"

"Kevin texted me yesterday asking again if you were really done."

"What did you tell him?"

"That he texted the wrong person."

They'd been walking companionably along the beach, hands casually brushing and entwining at will. At Castle's last comment, Kate smiled and nodded in appreciation. "Lanie's been dropping not-so-subtle hints, too. When we met for lunch last week, I told her she missed her calling as an interrogator."

"I don't suppose that got her to back down."

"Yeah right. If anything, she became more inquisitive. Though to be fair, as much of her curiosity was directed at our relationship as my resignation."

"Oh yeah? Did she want all the 'gory' details?" He laughed at his own pun on Lanie's profession.

"You have no idea."

They went on, talking and laughing about their friends as they meandered down the beach, passing a few people playing Frisbee or walking a dog. It was exactly why they'd come to the Hamptons, though as Castle had explained, there was still some debate about whether Montauk was actually part of the various towns and villages collectively referred to as "The Hamptons." He'd told her on the drive up, "Old school snobs insist only Southampton and East Hampton are legitimate. On the other hand, those of us who opted for more rural addresses but still contribute to the social scene up here have used the term to include more areas of the island, including Montauk."

The slower pace on the eastern half of the beach, farther from the "real" Hamptons, afforded them greater privacy and more time to just enjoy the pleasures of an afternoon walk. While their time together over the past three weeks had been novel and unfamiliar compared to the only routines they knew with each other – with no calls to crime scenes, no interruptions from persistent colleagues, and most notably, no threats to either of their lives – they were still navigating a lot of new territory that didn't exactly come with a clear and reliable map. For one thing, he knew Kate felt awkward in the loft, despite – or maybe even because of – everyone's effort to make her feel comfortable. When Martha and Alexis were out, she settled right in, burrowing against him on the couch, rummaging through cupboards and closets, but the second the other women arrived home, she retreated to a safe, out-of-the-way place to talk and laugh but not presume to be more than very welcome guest.

One night after dinner, Castle asked her about it.

"It's their home, Castle, and I'm not about to send any signals, particularly to Alexis, that I suddenly think it's mine as well. I'm sure it will get easier down the road, but three weeks is not enough time for me to feel comfortable flipping channels or walking around in my bathrobe like I own the place."

"But Kate, you helped yourself to my kitchen to make breakfast when you stayed here two years ago – and we weren't even together then."

"Exactly. I obviously wasn't trying to move in – literally or figuratively."

"You're not trying to move in now – are you?" he said with sudden confusion.

"No, but that's doesn't mean Alexis won't think that. No matter what she says, no teenager on the planet immediately accepts a parent's significant other without a _very_ thorough vetting process. It doesn't matter that she's known me for four years. I'm in a new role in your life, and she needs time to figure out what my intentions are, not only toward you, but toward her as well. And sending signals that I expect her to open her home unconditionally is not something that shows her much respect.

How was he supposed to argue with that kind of consideration – and for his daughter, no less?

And so they took it slow, only spending a few nights a week together at his home. The rest of the time, they went out, or stayed at her apartment, but Kate even made sure he didn't appear to be abandoning his family in favor of her. It was a delicate balance, and to be honest, one she was glad they didn't have to deal with for a few days. And maybe when Alexis joined them, the relaxing environment would help the two women connect in a way that had been somewhat elusive. While friendly, Kate hoped her relationship with Alexis would eventually deepen past superficial politeness, and she knew the responsibility for making that happened fell on her shoulders.

For now, the conversation somehow wound its way from Lanie's inquiry on whether Castle was worth waiting four years for (he totally was), to Alexis' summer plans, and finally, inevitably, back to Kate's job status. For all they had delayed talking about it in the city, it hadn't taken long for the quiet solitude of the coast to knead them into a state of self-contemplation that was so easily ignored back home.

As they completed their circuit of the beach, Castle reached over and took her hands in his. "Kate, I haven't said this before because I didn't want you to think I was second-guessing your decision. And I'm not. But I also don't want you to stick to a decision made under such extreme circumstances. You nearly died, and Gates couldn't even let you take a breath before chewing you out."

"You want to know if I want to go back." It was a statement, not a question.

"No, I want _you_ to know that if you're having second thoughts about resigning, no one is going to blame you, least of all me. You know you don't have to choose between me and your job. I'm not going anywhere. I loved you when you were a cop, and I love you now when you're here with me almost every day, and I'll still love you if you go back on the job."

She turned into him and wrapped her arms around his torso, pressing her cheek to his shoulder. "Thank you, Rick. And I know that. I do. And you know I love you back." Oh how those words still felt so wonderful to say aloud!

"But it's not just about us," she continued. She'd given this a lot of thought, and it's what had guided her decision from the moment she looked down at her badge for the last time in Gates' office. "I need to find out who I am without that badge. At least for a little while. Maybe I will go back, because there is so much about the job that I love. But I need to learn to set more boundaries, especially now. I need to put my life, and the people in it, first."

He nodded, understanding her need to reclaim her life, especially after coming so close to losing it. "That sounds like a plan, and I'll do whatever I can – whatever you want me to – to help you figure this out."

"I know you will, but I have a feeling most of the heavy lifting will be on me."

He nodded again, knowing there were limits to what he could offer, but grateful at least that she was finally sharing the burden. It was more than enough.

"So, enough heavy stuff for now. What do you want for dinner?"


	3. Chapter 3

**In The Hamptons**

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**Lots of dialogue here, but I hope you agree it's stuff they need to say. Reviews are much appreciated!**

**M rating starts here.**

**Disclaimer: Not an ounce of ownership to be had – but that doesn't make me love them any less.**

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Chapter 3

What was the use of having a house in the Hamptons if you didn't take advantage of the variety of seafood restaurants that covered the island, especially when they delivered? With a few citronella candles to keep away bugs, Kate and Rick sat on the deck overlooking the water as they dined on flakey crab cakes, Caesar salad, and blue cheese-stuffed portabella mushrooms. The sweet Riesling provided a refreshing complement to the meal.

"Almost feels like a date, doesn't it?" Castle asked as he scooped up the last of the melted blue cheese.

Kate smiled before quipping, "Well, since we kind of skipped that stage, I guess we better take advantage of it now."

"What do you mean? We went on lots of dates."

She narrowed her eyes in confusion, and asked, "Exactly how do you figure that?"

"Remy's, for one."

"That's not a date. That's two people who haven't eaten in twelve hours stuffing down burgers and greasy fries on an occasional basis."

"Sorry Kate, but any meal in which I get to watch you swirl your tongue around a strawberry milkshake for an hour, counts as a date."

A blush attacked her cheeks as she realized exactly how much he paid attention to her, even when she didn't know it. "Okay, fine. So a few dinners at Remy's."

"And the Anjelica. We saw three movies there together. And dinner at the loft a dozen or so times. And Drago."

"Drago! Castle, that was two years ago, and we went there with other people."

"True, but we left with each other."

"To arrest somebody."

"Incidentals. Besides, the whole point of dating is to get to know someone, and let's face it, I think we know each other pretty well at this point, due in no small part to those platonic 'outings.'"

She could hardly deny that point. No guy she'd actually dated ever came close to knowing her as well as Castle. "Okay, fine, so we've been on a few 'outings' that can very loosely be defined as dates – "

"More than a few."

"— so what's your point?"

"I just don't want you to feel like we catapulted past too many steps in our relationship," he said with his eyes twinkling happily in the candlelight.

"Castle, if anyone skipped a few steps, it was me. I'm the one who showed up on your doorstep and threw myself at you, praying it wasn't too late, because I couldn't bring myself to tell you I love you when I had the chance."

The words were said lightly, but the reality they'd faced only three weeks ago was still raw and more than a little tender. Seeing the smile slip from his face, she shook her head and murmured, "Seems neither one of us can avoid stepping into it every time we open our mouths."

"Kate, no, it's fine. Really. And we need to do this. We can't keep feeling like we're walking on eggshells, afraid of saying something wrong."

She knew he was right, but that didn't make it any easier when one of them said something without thinking about how it would sound. "I just wish it hadn't taken what happened for us to get here. I think back to that morning when we found Costas' body, and how excited I got when you asked me to watch movies with you."

"Really, you were excited?" He seemed genuinely surprised.

"Well, excited and petrified. Didn't you feel it, like we both knew something had changed, especially after … well, after the last few weeks?"

Those weeks were still very sensitive territory, and neither had fully broached what had led to the rift that had erupted between them. While they both knew the cause, Kate wasn't sure she would be able to make Castle understand her reasoning for keeping her memory a secret. No, she hadn't been ready or able to deal with a confession of love with so much else weighing her down; however, her lie about her memory had also been to her father, her other partners, her best friend, and for a while, even her therapist. She simply hadn't been able to face the inevitable questions about what she remembered from that day. It had been easier to pretend she got a blank slate from the moment she woke up in the hospital – until the sniper case forced her to confront the memories she's been ignoring. That's when she decided it was time to really start putting in the work, especially if she ever wanted to be ready to tell Castle the truth. Unfortunately, that time did not arrive soon enough.

For his part, Castle didn't relish fessing up to his fears that she didn't return his feelings. He's been hurt and shocked, and had jumped to conclusions and decided to punish her by acting out and rubbing it in her face that he was completely unaffected by her. It had been childish and selfish, and he knew he had no justification for his reaction.

And so, two brief but profound conversations within hours of each other stood as both explanation and apology. He learned she had been working on her issues from the day of her shooting and not just trying to ignore them, and she learned that she needed to communicate more, to offer status updates, so to speak, or else risk leaving him to wonder where they stood. It was an important lesson for both of them, and in the end, they finally knew beyond any doubt that they were not alone in their feelings. In four years, it was the first time they both welcomed that undeniable truth.

As Castle reflected on his part in the whole mess, as well as his stunned relief when she'd told him she was almost able to accept "everything," he told her now, honestly, "Yeah, yeah I felt it. I just wasn't sure I wasn't making it up in my head. But if we still had a chance, I knew I couldn't pass it up."

She smiled and reached out to take his hand. "I'd wanted to give you that chance for a long time. But every time, it seemed like something got in the way."

"What do you mean?"

Whether it was the wine making her talk, or simply her growing confidence in her relationship with him, she found herself opening up more and more when they had quiet moments like this. That he never once mocked her confessions only helped her efforts. "After Ryan's wedding, I knew it was time for me to stop acting like the status quo was all I wanted. When you said you had a date, I was devastated."

"It was Alexis," he said, a little baffled.

"Yeah, but I didn't know that at first. And then, even afterward, I realized that I was secretly hoping you'd ask me." It was a hard confession to make, especially since she didn't want to hurt his feelings. But it had been such a pivotal moment for her.

"I didn't want to push," he whispered, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"I know. And I appreciate that – I really, really do. But it made me realize I didn't want to put either of us through that again. I didn't want you to feel like there was anything you couldn't ask me. I spent weeks talking to my therapist and working up the courage to tell you the truth." She paused, took a breath, knowing she was going all in. "But then Sophia showed up…"

Her eyes met his, and he saw everything, the doubts, the fear, the jealousy, everything she'd denied feeling at the time. "I knew that wasn't easy for you. And I'm sorry. I should have told you about her. But Kate, please believe me when I tell you that … that it was never like this with her. I never loved her. I was intrigued and attracted …" He paused for a moment, searching for the right words, words that were powerful enough to capture his feelings. "Sophia offered information. She informed me. But you, Kate, you _infuse_ me. You are a part of me."

The words engraved themselves on her heart, and she knew, if she lived to be a hundred years old, no words would ever mean so much to her, and she could only hope the tears in her eyes said everything that could not make it past the dense ball of emotion in her throat.

After several minutes, she found the will power to continue her story. "I never doubted you, Rick. But it did scare me a little – scared me into silence for a while. And by the time I was ready to open up again, when the bomb went off at the protest, and – I think we both realized how quickly we could lose everything. But then, well, everything just fell apart, and I didn't know what to do to make it right."

"I was such an idiot, jumping to conclusions." He couldn't keep the words in, and knew he owed her that admission.

"You were hurt, and rightly so. Neither one of us handled that in the best way, did we?"

He got out of his chair and circled the small table to where she was sitting. He pulled her into his arms, dropped his mouth to hers, and whispered, "One way or another, we got here. And I can't regret anything about that."

Her arms wound around his neck as she held him close. "No, I can't regret that at all. And maybe if it all led to me finally admit how much I loved you, then every second was worth it. And I do, Rick. I love you," she said, launching herself into his arms and pressing her open lips firmly to his.

The leftovers and wine were forgotten. Locked together, they stumbled into the house, mouths meeting with feral abandon as they shed their clothes in a rapid frenzy along the way. The bedroom seemed so incredibly far away, as their hands and lips parried and feinted in a duel both were quite happy to surrender to. Kate fell back against the couch, and Castle's body quickly followed, covering hers with possessive intent as his hands stroked and grappled for skin she so willingly offered. He was inside her in seconds, feeling her wet heat surround him and drawing her to him until their bodies were flush against each other. His arms wrapped tightly around her back, clinging to her as his mouth ravaged her neck and shoulders.

Their movements were intense and determined. Her hands gripped his shoulders, biting and sucking at whatever skin she could reach. Her fingers curled into his back, holding fast against the strong thrust of his hips, even as she matched him in pace and ferocity. They each pushed the other further, grasping and clutching, desperate to claim, to mark, to possess. Their hunger became fathomless, and in that abyss of aching desire, far removed from all reason and control, they at last gave themselves over to the untamed release that consumed them.


	4. Chapter 4

**In The Hamptons**

**Sorry for the long wait. Life keeps getting in the way. But I hope this proves worth it. **

**Disclaimer: Not an ounce of ownership to be had – but that doesn't make me love them any less.**

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**Chapter 4**

The sun was barely peaking over the horizon when Kate opened her eyes and stretched like she'd slept for the better part of a day. Her muscles were limber and thrumming with the aftereffects of making love to Castle for most of the night. It was still such a thrill to look over and see his sleeping form next to her. The first time they'd spent the night under the same roof, though far from together, when a serial killer was using Nikki Heat as an outlet for his psychosis, she'd told Castle she wouldn't hesitate to shoot him if her bedroom knob even looked like it was about to turn. Even then, she'd been convinced his only goal was to get her in pants, and she wasn't about to give him the slightest encouragement – even if she fell asleep watching that door with more hope than irritation. But she must have played her part well because it didn't budge. Nor did any other knob over the years – at his loft, or in L.A., or even metaphorically when they were handcuffed together for twelve hours just six months ago. Not once did he make so much as one overt, sincere effort to pursue her in any way. And each time, it got a lot harder to convince herself she was relieved – and not maddeningly frustrated – by his distance.

Now, there was no need for distance. She could stroke his back, caress his cheek, and kiss his lips at her whim. She had complete and open access to all of him. She could ask him any question, interrupt any activity, and touch any part of him, and he welcomed her with open arms. When she apologized for breaking his concentration during an intense writing session, he'd brushed it off and said Nikki always took a backseat to the real person. When she got up the nerve to ask him about his marriages, they'd talked for two hours while he related every detail of the past twenty years of his life. In the past three weeks, nothing about his life had been off-limits to her. She didn't know whether he would have always been that forthcoming if she had had the courage to ask before, or if he was trying to show her that he really was all in. And for a woman whose every adult relationship had been defined by half-measures and who constantly played tug-of-war as she struggled against too much commitment, she found that the more he offered, the more she wanted to offer back. It was stark yet welcome proof that if she in fact had been looking for someone to dive in with, in every way possible, she truly had found him.

Holding on to that thought, and noticing that the sun was painting the water with warm pinks and oranges, she reached over and began brushing his hair from his face. The simple gesture still left her a little awestruck.

She had something she wanted to share with him, but she didn't know if he'd be up for it. While she could still sleep mornings away with the skill of any nocturnal teen-ager and grumbled as much as anyone else when a body dropped at five a.m., she considered herself a bit more of a morning person than Castle, especially when it came to exercise. But she really couldn't resist. Her body was vibrating with energy – and it was all his fault. He made her come alive in so many ways, and for once, she was going to return the favor.

"Castle … Castle, wake up." She rubbed his shoulder and leaned over to whisper in his ear, using her tongue to stroke the soft lobe.

Slowly he began to stir.

"Kate, wassa mattr? Waz wrong?" he mumbled, rousing barely enough to open his eyes.

"Everything's okay, but would you mind getting up with me. There's something I want to do that I haven't done in a while. And I want you to come with me."

Somehow the words penetrated his foggy brain. There were very few things he considered worth doing before the sun had its first coffee of the day, but when it came to Kate, he wasn't going to miss one opportunity to share something with her – especially when she was asking him.

Fifteen minutes later, he was very nearly regretting his decision.

The beach stretched out for miles both east and west, and Kate was determined to start the day running straight into the sun. Castle had never been much of a runner, though he could admit he usually felt pretty good afterward. Kate, however, thrived on the intensity and adrenaline. So if she wanted to run along the beach at sunrise and wanted him with her to watch she sun climb over the water, then he'd forgo his bed and his coffee to do it.

But he'd make her pay for it later, he thought wickedly.

The first mile was the hardest. His calves screamed in protest, his arches rebelled against the unstable terrain, and his lungs begged for more air than he could suck in. It was sheer hell, and it didn't help that Kate looked like she jogged off the page of a Nike ad, with her hair in a braid and her legs stretching out of loose, lightweight shorts. Though it was just before six and the temperature was still shy of 70, they both knew how quickly the sun and humidity would start to climb.

The end of the second mile brought them to the edge of Camp Hero State Park, and already, their shirts were damp with sweat. A mile after that, they were at the tip of the island, and the sun was well on its way across the sky.

"Damn, Castle, I'm impressed," Kate said between lungfuls of air.

"Yeah, well, you should be," he gasped. "Why do people do this to themselves?"

"Because it's good for you. Gets the blood pumping."

"So does sex."

Her laughter cost her too much oxygen, and she doubled over trying to get more. Once recovered, much to Castle's amusement, she quipped, "Make you a deal Castle. You beat me back, and we can burn some calories your way."

"That's assuming I make it back."

"You will, I promise."

"And what if you win?"

"Well, you'll still probably get sex, but we come back here for round two tomorrow."

"You drive a hard bargain, Detective, but I accept," he said as he took off past her on his way back down the beach, determined to at least present a solid challenge to her superior ability. For a while, they kept an even pace, but Castle had the distinct feeling Kate was toying with him. His suspicion was confirmed when she took the lead by a few meters then stripped off her damp shirt in the warming sun, leaving him to gaze at the sexy stretch of her black sports bra across the muscles of her back. It was enough to convince him that he could chase her back to Manhattan if it meant peeling that spandex scrap of cloth from her body.

His muscles were finally loose and warm, giving him a greater stride and not as much resistance. So when Kate started to pull away even more as they hit the last mile, he gave her a few meters to lull her into a false sense of security. They both knew she could out-distance him in a speed race, but he hoped her ego would be her downfall. It also helped that he was more familiar with the island and could better gauge the distance to his property.

When he saw the blue steps that led from the beach to his closest neighbor's secluded property, Castle turned up the speed. He knew he had about two hundred yards to catch her. His plan seemed to be working, until her instincts kicked in and she glanced back to see him coming up fast. Immediately, her stride lengthened, and he saw his advantage waning. Within seconds, they were in a full sprint, and Castle was shocked to find that his longer stride was helping him gain the last few feet. But it wouldn't be enough. So with nothing left to lose, he watched her start to slow down in victory before grabbing her hand as he ran by and dragging her away from the steps and straight for the surf.

"Castle! What are you ... no! Don't you dare! CASTLE!" She twisted and pulled until he pivoted their positions so he could tackle her into the water in a massive bear hug.

They were immediately knocked back by the force of a cold wave against their overheated bodies. It was at once bitterly painful and refreshingly invigorating. Kate came up sputtering salt water and tried her best to glare at the man sitting in the sand, with the receding water swaying against his chest and a fool's grin on his face.

"Tell me that didn't feel good," he challenged.

She sloshed over to him and plopped down in his lap with her legs straddling him. Both of them were just far enough into the water for the waves to break well away from them and then roll gently over their legs and hips. "Not the point," she muttered, failing miserably at appearing anything less than playful.

"You liked it," he smirked.

How had she ever resisted him? Grateful she no longer had to, she pinned him to the sand and was kissing the salty water from his lips like it was fine champagne. The tide continued to lap around them, but their focus was only on each other. Kate's knees and hands pressed into sand as she straddled his hips and leaned over to continue her assault on his neck. Finally getting the chance to act on the fantasy that carried him the last two miles, Castle pushed his thumbs under the tight band of her sports bra and watched as the wet material pulled away from her skin, revealing breasts that were already tight and pebbled from the cold water.

Kate inhaled sharply from both shock and arousal, and then she darted quick glances in every direction. She would hardly consider herself an exhibitionist, but the feel of the water and the allure of Castle beneath her overrode all reason. Besides, his property was secluded, and not a soul could be seen anywhere. Why not live a little?

His hands were fast and eager on her body as she rubbed suggestively against him, feeling him harden against her.

Finally, logic penetrated his brain long enough for him to gasp, "Kate, we can't. Kate … sand ... bad."

Unfortunately, acting on that reason proved much harder, and Kate wasn't sure how he expected her to make sense of his words with his fingers brushing against the sensitive peaks of her breasts and then sliding along her wet torso and down her thighs to slip into the leg of her running shorts. The heat he found at her core was volcanic compared to the coolness of her exposed skin, and she convulsed around him when his fingers found her.

"Rick," she gasped.

It took some finesse, and despite the threat posed by sand that often made sex on the beach anything but sexy, she managed to free him from his shorts. Moving aside her own shorts and underwear, she lowered herself directly onto him. It was elicit, erotic, utterly overwhelming, and so very hot with the cold water rushing up against them in a rhythm that matched their own.

With so many sensations, and so many risks, intensity was far more important than stamina. Kate employed every trick she knew, rocking and sliding against him, until Castle gripped her hips with enough force to bruise and held her still while he rode a final wave of uncontrolled release.

If not for the cold water, Kate could have remained next to him on that beach all day, and by his lack of mobility, she suspected he felt much the same. But the sand that had felt so wonderful abrading her skin moments earlier suddenly felt harsh and irritating, making her think fondly of the shower waiting thirty yards away. Leaning over to press a hot, open kiss to Castle's slack mouth, she stood up and clasped his hand, pulling him after her.

"Best. Run. Ever."

"Told you it would be worth it," she tossed over her shoulder, leading him to the outdoor shower head at the foot of the deck. "Please tell me this thing has hot water."

Castle nodded absently before turning her around to face him and lowering his mouth to hers. "Kate, I say this with all sincerity, that was the most erotic experience of my life."

Kate's smile started out shy but blossomed with wanton pride. "Well, we might be finding sand in weird places for the next week, but – "

"—it was worth it," he finished.

They both stripped off their wet clothes and tossed them onto the deck. Naked and sandy, with a combination of drying sweat and salt water making their skin sticky, they both stepped under the warm spray. Shampoo and body wash would come later, via a much longer and more relaxing interior shower, but just the feel of the clean, warm water rinsing everything away, including some latent aches and pains, left them both clean and refreshed.

But Castle could not bring himself to let her turn the water off until he'd taken full advantage of having her wet, limber body against his a little longer. After four years of waiting, he knew he would never get tired of being able to pull her flush against him, run his hands along her back, cup her bottom and pull her against him, stroke her jaw, and dip his mouth to taste hers. She denied him nothing. She retreated from nothing. She might have held back and hidden behind walls for far too long, but when she decided to go for it, she committed in every possible way. And Castle was awed by it.

"You can't possibly …" she trailed off when his mouth covered her ear.

Pulling back, he chuckled softly. "You shouldn't be surprised anymore by what you do to me, Kate. But no, I just want to feel you against me."

"I think we can manage that."

They stood there under the spray kissing and touching until the water started to run cold. Reluctantly, they turned the shower off, grabbed towels from the outdoor closet, and padded naked up the steps, past the leftovers still sitting out from the night before and into the house. It wasn't yet eight o'clock.

Upstairs, the unmade bed was simply too inviting to resist, and they both collapsed on it with dramatic flair. Within minutes, the only sound in the house was their shallow breathing.


	5. Chapter 5

**In The Hamptons**

**Short, but hopefully effective.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still haven't been given ownership rights. **

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Again, Kate woke up first and was surprised to see she'd slept for more than three hours. But she felt so much better for it. Gently extricating herself from the arm Castle had flung across her stomach at some point, she got up, retrieved some clothes from her bag and eased into the bathroom, all without waking him. Her second shower of the day proved far more effective, though not as enjoyable as the first. She finally got both the sand and the tangles from her hair, and traded the scent of salt water for a fresh cucumber citrus. Washed, shaved, and conditioned, she turned the tap off, toweled dry, and slipped on the most comfortable yoga pants and t-shirt she owned. She brushed her teeth, gelled her hair, and left it to dry naturally to maximize the curl.

Downstairs, she made short work of the mess from dinner and had everything spotless before starting on brunch. She popped her iPhone into the universal dock and hit "Random" on her playlist. Raiding the fridge, she decided on Omelets a la Kate, and with Adele giving way to The Beatles, she began chopping peppers, mushrooms, and onions.

The repetitive task gave her mind time to wander, and it wasn't long before it settled on the man still sleeping upstairs. Their path had not been an easy one, but the results were proving well worth the wait. She had taken them to the brink of disaster with her pursuit of a killer, and she had been so focused and so intent on that one goal for so long that she hadn't been able to see what was right in front of her. She'd sought him out when she needed someone to help her face Raglan, but she'd shut him down just as quickly when he offered that same support during the sniper case that left her with the feeling of psychological vertigo. He came back to protect her at Montgomery's request after she'd told him it was over, but she didn't even pick up the phone for three months after getting shot in the chest. Everything was always on her terms, according to her wants and her level of comfort. Still, he stood by her side, making sure she stayed safe, doing whatever was necessary, even lying to her, to keep her alive. He'd watched her die. How could she ever blame him for doing anything – anything – to prevent that from happening again?

Thankfully, finally, it all became clear. He'd begged her to open her eyes, to see that he was right there waiting for her. It was only her own stubborn pride that had stopped her from chasing him as he left her apartment that night. All night she'd battled with herself over what she was doing and what it was costing her – what it might ultimately cost her. Dr. Burke had told her that she couldn't let her mother down, and she had started to accept that. But this had become about so much more than just her mother. It was about her, and the shooting she'd survived only by the grace of God. It was about Montgomery's children, who would never see their father again. It was about three innocent law clerks whose families still think were killed as part of gang violence or robberies gone wrong. It was about every desperate person who lost their life doing one "small favor" for someone they never stood a chance against. It was about John Pulgatti, rotting in prison for a crime he didn't commit. And it was about showing one man that no one was powerful enough to get away with it all.

But in the end, her best wasn't enough. Couldn't even come close. She had to save what she could and accept her life as it was. She remembered that pang of panic when Montgomery had so casually agreed to tell Castle he was gone from the precinct. She's hadn't even realized she'd been bluffing until her captain had called her on it. But that was nothing compared to the desperate relief of hearing her partner's voice as she hung off that ledge, knowing logically there was no way for him to be there, yet using it to hold on with every last bit of strength she had. His voice kept her from giving up. She fought and cried for him, for them. And in the end, she might have been pulled back on to that rooftop, but every doubt, every fear about what she truly wanted plummeted down to the pavement behind her.

Now, three weeks later, she was just as certain she'd made the right decision. The loss of her job still stung occasionally, but she'd given some thought to Castle's words the day before, as well as to conversations with Ryan and Esposito in recent weeks. She wasn't sure what she wanted, but she knew she had time to decide. And she was using that time to focus on something beside her education and job for the first time in thirteen years. In her entire adult life, Castle was the first man who was more important to her than her efforts to continue her mother's work and her quest to find the truth. The man who had spent the first year of their relationship infuriating her as he inflated every rumor she'd ever read about when he was simply her favorite author, had become the man whose love she could not live without.

Blinking back a stray tear or two at the strength of her emotion, Kate brought her focus back to the task at hand. With a dozen omelet toppings cut and separated, egg batter ready to go into the pan, fresh-cut potatoes baking in the oven, and the scent of French vanilla coffee wafting through the air, she was starting to wonder if Castle was ever going to wake up. At the end of Dolly Parton's anthem to the working woman, she was ready to march up the steps and pull him out of bed by his big toe. So when he appeared in the kitchen moments later, showered and dressed, she realized the music and her own thoughts had prevented her from hearing him move around above her.

"What's all this?" he asked, looking at the piles of onions, spinach, roma tomatoes, shredded cheese and a variety of other ingredients.

"I figured we worked up quite an appetite this morning, so it's Supreme Omelets a la Kate."

"Wow, well, sign me up for one with everything."

Ten minutes later, they were seated at the table, making short work of her culinary efforts. The food was delicious, and their empty stomachs growled for more. Castle couldn't help but take in Kate's bare feet and clothes that looked so soft and worn he'd bet she'd owned them since college. Without make-up and with her hair flowing naturally around her shoulders, she almost looked like she belonged in a dorm or sorority house, even though he knew she was hardly the sorority type. But the look fit – young, carefree, and uninhibited by weight he knew would return to her shoulders sooner than he'd like. But for now, he would enjoy this glimpse of a youthful, unencumbered Kate.

"You cleaned up from last night," he noted. "You didn't have to do that."

"Why not? I helped make the mess."

"Yeah, but you're my guest," he said gallantly.

"I thought I was your partner," she countered evenly.

Meeting her eyes, he went for full effect. "In every way."


	6. Chapter 6

**In The Hamptons**

**Disclaimer: Love them, but don't own them. **

* * *

**Chapter 6**

The storm rolled in by one o'clock and made their afternoon options quite easy. Never having gotten the chance to indulge in their John Woo movie marathon, they decided there was no time like the present. With thunder rumbling outside, inevitably evoking memories of the last storm that brought her to his door soaking wet and seeking absolution, they curled on the couch and settled back to enjoy the raw violence and suspense of _Hard Boiled_.

The rain battered the windows, and the wind brought the waves in hard and fast against the beach. By city standards, the storm was really little more than a summer squall, but for Kate at least, it seemed like everything got magnified on the beach. The clouds were darker and more ominous, the rain drops were bigger, and the thunder and lightning was infinitely louder and brighter, until it felt like the whole house was shaking with the temper of the storm.

Despite the muggy humidity she'd endured all morning, Kate couldn't resist grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around herself to ward off the physical chill of the air conditioning, as well as the psychological chill of the wind outside and the cold violence on the tv.

Castle just chuckled and pulled her against him so that she was leaning into his shoulder with her legs curled behind her. He draped his arm along her side, resting his hand at her hip. The movie was old and familiar, like so many action flicks of the same period, from _Die Hard_ to _Terminator_. Kate had to elbow Castle a few times for saying the lines, but that didn't stop him from interjecting a continuous series of random factoids and trivia about the cast, crew, and plot. He was like her own personal IMDB, she thought with equal parts amusement and exasperation.

When the credits finally rolled, Kate stood up to stretch and felt every muscle rebel against her. The worst of storm was long over, but the waves were still rolling and crashing along the shoreline as a steady rain pelted the windows. While surfers would be taking full advantage of it, Kate was glad to spend her day lazily vegging out on the couch. With Castle. But before they continued their double feature, the kitchen beckoned. Rifling through cupboards and the fridge, they managed to put together a veritable buffet of lunch meat, cheese, crackers, hummus, salsa, and assorted fruits and veggies. One thing she could say about Castle was that his pantry was always well stocked and did not lack for variety.

No sooner had they pressed play on the Blue Ray player to start the next film than Kate's phone began to buzz on the end table.

"It's Ryan," Kate said absently to Castle, glancing at the display screen. "Hello?"

"Beckett, hey, how ya doin'?

In those five words, Kate could tell immediately that he sounded more than a bit nervous, and he was obviously not calling for a friendly afternoon chat. So she decided not to waste time pretending she couldn't hear the strain in his voice.

"Pretty good, Ryan. What's up? You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay ... well mostly. Uh, I just wondered if you'd heard from Gates recently."

"Gates? No, not since I left. Why?"

"Beckett, I know you resigned and all, but Gates still has you on the roster, and I wasn't sure what that meant, and well, it just slipped out."

She felt her heart rate accelerate, and even though it wasn't with anger toward her partner, it was with a very acute sense of foreboding. "What just slipped out?"

"Have you watched the news at all?"

"No, Castle and I are in the Hamptons for the holiday. Why? What happened?

"We've had two bodies in twelve hours. Different MO, no forensics or fingerprints, no connection between the vics. Nothing."

"Then why do you think they're connected?"

"Both had blue ribbons tied around their left wrist."

Well, that definitely qualifies as a connection, Kate thought, and if they got one more victim, it looked like the people at the 12th would have a serial killer on their hands – and a fast-acting one at that.

"Okay, so what does this have to do with me? At the very least, I'm on leave, and believe me when I say I intend to call Gates and have my name taken off the schedule. I'm done."

"Yeah, well about that. I wasn't sure if you were really gone – the schedule and all – and I kinda told Gates that if she wanted this thing solved before we got a dozen more bodies, she'd be wise to pull you and Javi off leave."

Kate could almost see his face scrunched up, waiting for her outburst through the phone. But all she did was sigh. She couldn't blame him for trying. "There are a dozen other detectives in the precinct who can handle this, Kevin, including you."

"Yeah, but we're not you. Do you know our close rate has dropped thirty percent in three weeks? Sure, these guys are good, but Kate, come on. No one touched you – us, our team – when it came to catchin' killers. All I'm saying is that I told Gates to think about it. And now I'm asking you, if she calls, think about it. Two bodies, Kate, with another guaranteed to drop any minute. And we've got nothin'."


	7. Chapter 7

**In The Hamptons**

**Disclaimer: Love them, but don't own them. **

* * *

**Chapter 7**

When Kate hit end a few minutes later, assuring Ryan she wasn't mad at him, thanking him for the heads up, and promising to think about it, she looked up at Castle with uncertainty and despair plastered across her face.

He obviously heard enough to put the pieces together, but the picture he had wasn't complete. "He's trying to get you and Espo back?"

She nodded, then began to elaborate. "They caught a tough case. Ryan thinks it might be a serial, but there are no leads. He told Gates that unless she wants bodies piling up across the city, she needs to get me and Esposito back on active and get our team on the case."

"How do you feel about that?"

Kate pulled her feet onto the couch and then rested her head on her knees, wrapping her arms around her shins.

"I wish I knew," she whispered.

"Kate, listen to me. What was your immediate gut reaction to Ryan's news?" He placed his hands at her elbows and began rubbing her arms, hoping the contact would help her relax. "What was the first thing you felt – dread, excitement, adrenaline? Did you freeze up inside, or did you begin thinking of questions to ask? Did you think, _Oh God, not this_, or _Where's my badge and gun_?"

She understood what he was asking, and the truth was, she felt all of it, and she told him so. Leaning into him and feeling him wrap his arm around her whole body, she let her thoughts run free. "I don't know what I feel. Yes, a part of me got excited by the idea of going out and hunting this bastard down, just like we've done hundreds of times before. I want to see the evidence, scope out the crime scene, and hear Lanie's report on the victims. But then I think about going days without sleep, putting on my armor to question a suspect and not being able to take it off even when I want nothing more than someone to reassure me I'm not becoming some kind of emotionless automaton. I'm afraid of becoming that person who can't show how scared I am, to anyone, who can't turn off being a cop long enough to be a human being with feelings and emotions …"

He had to interrupt her – couldn't let her think that about herself. "Kate, you are the most empathetic human being I've ever met. You feel everything!"

"Oh yeah?" she asked derisively. "Even when I hide in my apartment because I won't let anyone, even you, see how hard it is on me? Even when I hold that coffee cup so tightly I'm afraid it will shatter in my hands, just so I don't give in to the urge for some kind of physical contact that is so strong I ache with wanting it?" Her voice shook with long-repressed frustration as she confessed more than she ever had about the toll her job exacted.

But Castle picked up her tirade and continued for her, affirming his belief in her. "Even when you push me away and bury yourself in piles of evidence and witness statements. Even when you lash out and make everyone want to hide under their desks rather than face you. Even then, you fight for those victims and reassure those families with more compassion and humanity than anyone – _anyone, Kate._" His voice was soft, but insistent. He needed her to believe him. He needed her to see herself the same way he did, because whether or not she went back her job, she deserved to be able to trust herself.

Grateful to feel her responding nod against his chest, he waited until she was ready to continue. "Being a cop is all I know, Castle, but I don't know if I can make the sacrifices anymore. I don't know if I want to. From college to the academy, to my career, it's all I've done."

"But, Kate, that doesn't mean it's all you _can_ do. You're the smartest woman I know." Finally, she had given him the opening to say something that he'd been holding back for a very long time because it had never been his place to say it. But now, at last, he could. "You quote Victorian poets and Greek philosophers, you know about cognitive dissonance and economic theory. Hell, you know muscle cars and comic books. You can do anything. You're intelligent and educated. You could go back to school for your Ph.D. or your law degree. You could teach or give lectures. You could work for a non-profit – or hell, you could start one."

She smiled sadly at his suggestions, which to her were little more than pipe dreams. "Yeah, and how am I going to pay my rent while I'm writing a dissertation or filling out 501c3 forms?" But the second the words were out of her mouth, she wished she could take them back. It was the one aspect of her time off she'd resolutely avoided bringing up with him.

"Come on, Kate, seriously?" he asked calmly, but pointedly. And suddenly, their conversation about Ryan's call segued abruptly to a topic Kate had scrupulously avoided, while Castle had wished for the opportunity to pursue. Even if it was not the best time, he was more than willing to use Ryan call as a catalyst. But Kate wasn't easily swayed.

"I shouldn't have said that. Let's not go there, okay? It's not a good idea, and now's not the time for that conversation." But she could tell he was already well on his way to the one discussion she did not want to have.

"Yes, it is a good idea. We have to talk about it sometime, especially if what's between us is as long term as I think we both hope it is."

"Of course I hope it's long term – I know it is. But it's only been a few weeks, and bringing the issue of money into things is just going to cause problems."

"Only if we let it," he said sensibly. "Kate, I have money. We know that. It's not going to go away. Do you doubt for one second I would give you every penny if you needed it?" He took her hands and held them until she looked at him. "Swear to me, Kate, please swear to me that you won't base your decision on money. Don't you dare give up on something because of that. Promise me, please."

His eyes were so sincere, so earnest. "Rick …"

"No, listen to me. This has nothing to do with us being together. It's not a bribe, and it's sure as hell not some kind of payment on the nightstand for services rendered."

"I know that, Rick. I do. And you have no idea how much I love you for it." She wasn't sure whether the tears in her eyes were the result of his words or the fact that he felt the need to say them. Of course she knew his offer was borne of the purist altruism, but that part of her that had been infused since the cradle with the working-class values of middle-class parents who spent every waking moment with disadvantaged people, made it hard to exercise any access to unearned privilege. Spending ten years in the company of blue collar cops, most of whom didn't know about her comparatively affluent upbringing, only reinforced her discomfort with overt wealth. "Besides, I'm not exactly destitute. My parents were lawyers, they had their stuff together. When my mom died, I got her life insurance and socked most of it away because I couldn't bear the thought of touching it. The only time I did was for school and my apartment. It's not a fortune, but it will buy me some time if I want it."

But Castle wouldn't give up. "Kate, just because you can do everything alone doesn't mean you have to, especially now. If ever anyone deserved to have someone take some of the weight off their shoulders, it's you. This is something I can do for you."

When she didn't say anything, he continued, taking advantage of the chance to talk freely. "There are a hundred reasons why the cops in this city chose their profession. For some, it's family tradition, and for others, a way to get a good job without college. Some, like you, found a calling. But Kate, the first time I met you, it was obvious that it wasn't your only option, it wasn't expected of you. You grew up with privileges a lot of these guys never had. You went to Stuy for crying out loud, the best public school in the city. And then Stanford , practically an Ivy League university. You're probably the most educated detective in the city. Being a cop is a great job, an honorable and admirable job that you are amazing at, but you don't have to be limited to it. You can help people in other ways. If you want something more, or even just something different, for God's sake, go for it. For once, live life on your terms, because you can now, and there's nothing wrong with that."

He made it sound so easy – and so tempting. When she'd walked out of the precinct, she'd only been thinking about her personal choices and identity, not professional. She needed time to be Kate, not Detective Beckett, and not the daughter of a violent crime victim. She needed to put aside everything that was keeping her from being with the man she loved – the man she never expected to love but did beyond all reason.

She placed her palm against his cheek and leaned in until their foreheads were touching, so reminiscent of that first night. "Thank you, Rick," she whispered, knowing he understood. He always did.

"We're in this together. Whatever you decide, we'll make happened. _Anything_. Even going back. As long as it's what you want. Got that?"

She nodded, accepting more from him than she ever had from anyone.

"Yeah, yeah I do. But, right now, it's all moot. Even if I wanted to, I can't go back anyway. Gates hasn't called, and knowing her, she won't, which is fine. She has people who can do this. This isn't my case, and I know there are good detectives on it, Ryan included. He just needs to get more confidence in himself, and maybe leading this case will give him that."

"I couldn't agree more. But I still want you to be ready if that call does come. Gates has you on the roster, so she obviously isn't a hundred percent convinced you're done. But this is your life, Kate, and you have every right to go back or walk away. Don't let anyone take that choice away from you."

Taking that as her cue, she lifted her head until her mouth grazed his, rubbing and tasting the soft, wet skin of his lips. She pushed back against him, deepening the kiss and darting her tongue to slide along his. Amid all the emotions coursing through them — love, passion, hope — the most profound was their sense of freedom. Until a month ago, he had been forced time and again to watch from afar as she struggled with her problems, too afraid of pushing her away to risk drawing her close. She kept every dilemma and personal battle to herself, carrying the burden alone for fear of asking too much from the person she couldn't give back to in equal measure. And because of that, any slight sign she gave of relinquishing even a sliver of her iron-clad control had seemed like a monumental step in their relationship. But never had he been able to offer more than the smallest, vaguest assurance that he was there for her.

Now, at long last, he was able to hold her tight against him, both showing and telling her she was not alone. He was free to stroke her hair and brush his mouth over her temple, her jaw, her lips, while he cradled her against his chest. It was everything he'd wanted to do for years, every time she'd come up against something that put that wary, uncertain look in her eyes. And the way she melted into him told him she felt the same way.

When they broke apart, she said, "Right now, today, tonight, I want to focus on us, on our weekend. The 12th will be there, and God knows there will always be a new murder to solve. We're entitled to this, and we sure as hell earned it."

He smiled and pulled her even closer, if that were possible, so proud of her conviction and thankful for her presence in his life. "I can't argue with that. Let's table this for now. Enough's been said." To solidify his point and close the conversation, he leaned into her once again, brushed his lips along her ear and whispered, "So crime-solving aside, what's your pleasure this evening, m'lady? Movie? Dinner? Sex?"

"Can I pick all of the above?" she asked suggestively.

"I think that can be arranged. How about we relax a while longer with the movie, enjoy these delicious snacks, and some wine ..."

"And then we get dressed up and hit the town. I've never had the pleasure of enjoying the finest entertainment in the Hamptons."

"And the finest you shall have, my dear. And when we get back here ..."

"The real entertainment begins," she said softly, temptingly, while sliding her hand up his chest and around his collar to cup his neck and bring his lips to hers again.

"I like your plan," he murmured huskily, liking it even more because it would hopefully keep her from brooding about choices and cases that were out of her control. He knew the Kate he'd met four years ago would have already been on her way back to Manhattan ready to bang down the captain's door to get on a case. But that Kate hadn't been shot in the chest, and she hadn't dangled over unforgiving pavement while her shooter left her to fall to her death a year later. That Kate – determined, smart, and tenacious as she was – hadn't yet learned to value her own life as much as she valued others'. That Kate hadn't loved him and hadn't known what it meant to be truly loved in return. All the more reason to give her every excuse to keep choosing life – especially the life they were building together.

"Then press play," she said, turning back toward the screen and plucking a strawberry from the tray in front of them. "We have an evening to get to."


	8. Chapter 8

**In The Hamptons**

**Disclaimer: Love them, but don't own them. **

* * *

**Chapter 8**

The movie took Kate's mind off Ryan's call and allowed her to relax against Castle's shoulder. While she might have preferred _Face/Off_ or _Broken Arrow_, if for no other reason than John Travolta, _The Killers_ provided just enough late-80s action and escapism to keep her interested. Not to mention, Castle's animated commentary and "active viewing" was worthwhile in itself.

Kate eased from her spot under Castle's arm when the credits came up and turned toward him. "Happy now? We got to see your movies." Her voice was full of amusement, belying her attempt to project a tone of false suffering. Looking at his satisfied expression, she couldn't help but wonder what their night might have been like had their plans to watch the films after Alexis graduation not gone so far off course. Not that she minded where the new path had ultimately led them, but she couldn't help but smile at how monumental it had seemed to agree to watch movies with him. It hadn't even been like a real date, but until the case swallowed them whole, she felt like she might as well have agreed to marry him. It was the most definitive step they'd taken toward being together, and for all her confident bravado, she'd been petrified at the possibility – the very likely possibility – of finally changing the status quo. The end to the holding pattern was coming quickly, and it took Kate a lot of self-reassurance to decide it was time to move forward.

Now though, after all was said and done, it was hard to remember what the big deal had been. Being with Castle was almost as easy as breathing. Everything had changed, and yet nothing had. They talked and bickered, joked and laughed, discussed and debated. He was still her partner and her friend, but now, he was also so much more.

Noticing her expression, he asked, "What's so amusing?"

She shook her head and smiled again. "Nothing … me, us …"

At his confused look, she attempted to clarify. "I was just thinking about our original plans to watch movies, and how it seemed like such a big step that morning – before everything happened. And now …"

He picked up where she trailed off. "Now, we're wondering what took us so long."

She nodded, and he continued, "But at least we got here, one way or another."

"Yes, we did. And we got to see the movies."

She rolled her eyes at his delighted and emphatic nod. "Now, though … " she said as she switched off the DVD and held a hand out for her partner, "shall we move on to Phase Two of our evening?"

"If it involves you slipping into that scrap of black silk I saw hanging in the closet, then sign me up," he said suggestively, running his hands along hers as she stood in front of him.

"As a matter of fact …"

Slowly, she leaned down toward him. One kiss was all it took until he had her pinned beneath him on the couch. She squeaked in surprise when his body covered hers, and then gave in to the feel of him pressed enticingly against her. Like pieces of a puzzle, she thought, acknowledging the cliché, but unable to think of anything more creative when his tongue was stroking along her neck, nipping at her collarbone, and then finally returning to her mouth.

"Castle," she panted between kisses, "Dinner ... remember? Sexy dress."

He lifted his head and looked down at her, flush and aroused beneath him. Oh it was tempting to just scoop her up and lock her in his bedroom for the rest of the night – or the rest of his life. But the thought of hitting the town with her on his arm, sharing a bottle of wine over dinner before feeling her slide against him under the thin guise of dancing sounded pretty darn appealing, too.

Mustering a modicum of restraint (for the time being), he murmured in her ear, "This is for later," and kissed her one more time, lingering over her lips for a final few seconds. Then they both staggered to their feet and distractedly began gathering up their dishes and wine glasses to take to the kitchen. Once everything was put away, Kate looked at the clock, did some quick calculations, and said to Castle, "Give me about 30 minutes, okay? We'll leave by seven."

"Sounds good. That's plenty of time for me."

It wasn't the first time they'd gotten ready to go out at the same time, in the same place. While far from living together, Kate had spent enough nights at the loft to cause them to share bathroom space and squabble over misplaced shoes and tie preferences.

But there was something different this time. There was a domestic rhythm to their actions that Kate could only attribute to the new environment. Even though the house was literally a second home for Castle, unlike the loft, it wasn't some place they had spent time before being together. She hadn't spent years visiting this house as a guest only to suddenly be allowed – and expected – to make herself at home in a very real way. And she could admit that not worrying about inadvertently coming across as presumptuous to Martha or Alexis made things infinitely easier. Even though both women had been nothing but gracious and welcoming, Kate was still hyper-aware of the fact that she was coming into their home on an increasingly regular basis and being granted liberties they had no obligation to grant. It also did not escape her notice that when Alexis arrived in the Hamptons, Kate might very well find herself in that situation again, as this house had been part of the girl's life since she was eight years old. It was something Kate would just have to deal with, especially since no one else seemed the least bit aware of how profound this shift in dynamic was to her.

But for the time being, her place in this house, with Castle, just felt more natural and infinitely easier to navigate, which she did flawlessly when she ordered him out of the bathroom so she could curl her hair.

While she was in the bathroom, Castle rummaged through his walk-in closet for the only dress clothes he'd brought – black slacks, a cobalt blue shirt, and silver and blue tie. The closet and master bath had once been a small nursery off the master bedroom. Whoever had owned the house in the late seventies had invested a pretty penny to divide and convert the space – an investment that no doubt turned a healthy profit for that owner when the house was sold.

Turing to leave with clothes in hand, Castle was stopped short by the sight of Kate's few clothes hanging on the other side, including the black dress he was dying to see on her. Like everything else that reminded him that they were truly together, this realization hit him smack in the solar plexus. Her clothes were in his closet, and she was curling her hair in his bathroom in order to go on a date with him. It wasn't the first time, but it also hadn't happened nearly enough yet to feel routine. Maybe in another thirty or forty years.

Running his fingers over the material, he marveled at how quickly, and how naturally, everything had changed. The woman he couldn't even draw into a hug while she was suffering from PTSD now sought him out and wrapped her arms around him simply because she could. He'd come so close to losing her so many times – both physically to raging psychopaths and vengeful conspirators and emotionally to men who hadn't had anything to lose by openly pursuing her. Where Castle had feared losing what little ground he'd gained after their rocky start, other men cruised by and took up the position in her life Castle hadn't known he'd wanted so badly until it wasn't his to pursue.

But he'd stayed … and waited … and yes, faltered for a while. But when the time came, he fought – and though he'd thought it was too little, too late, she'd ultimately proven him wrong. They were enough – together. And now she was in his bathroom, and tonight, she would be in his bed and he would be making love to her, thanking every higher power in the universe that this amazing, extraordinary woman who challenged him, matched him, humored him, and above all, loved him, was his to love back.

Carrying that thought with him, he dressed quickly, called into her that he would be downstairs waiting, and made his exit from the room, giving her the space he knew she'd want to get ready.

When she appeared in the kitchen fifteen minutes later, he was just ending a call to Alexis. "I love you too, honey. We'll see you up here tomorrow."

Hearing her heels on the tile, he turned, and the words on his tongue turned to dust at the sight of her. It took every ounce of will power not to throw her over his shoulder and carry her back upstairs to the bedroom to peel her clothes off and ravage that stunning body. And he doubted she'd put up much of a protest. But he'd promised her a night out, and he knew his evening would inevitably end with that dress on the floor and those endless legs wrapped around his hips.

"I'll take it as a good thing when the writer finds himself without words," she said with a mixture of sauciness and delight in her voice.

All he could do was nod as he took in the plunging neckline, open back, and miles of leg exposed by the short dress. Her hair was a riot of curls down her back, and he didn't even want to think about how she managed to walk in four-inch heels. Another millimeter and he'd be looking up to meet her eyes.

She was a walking fantasy.

"How's Alexis?" she asked, knowing the mention of his daughter might snap him back into focus.

"Fine," he stammered, "she's fine. Looking forward to coming up tomorrow." He continued to gape at the golden hue of her skin against the black material, wanting to see more of her – all of her. "She says hi."

And that was it. He was out of words again, and he knew that if he didn't get her out of the house in five seconds, they'd never make it to dinner. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her along after him, anticipating the raw pleasure of having this amazing, beautiful, incredible woman by his side for the rest of the night – and for the rest of his life.


	9. Chapter 9

**In The Hamptons**

**Disclaimer: Still the rightful property of the brilliant A.W. Marlowe.**

**Chapter 9**

The Ferrari cruised down Route 27 toward the trendier parts of town, and Castle turned off the highway a few miles before East Hampton. There was a small cluster of shops and restaurants buffeted by some obviously newer condos. At one time, this was probably a little, out-of-the-way hamlet that the trendsetters farther west didn't bother with. Now, Kate could tell those trendsetters were spilling over and expanding what they considered acceptable territory. Still, the little town was a far cry from what Kate would consider a hotspot.

Castle pulled into a public parking space in front of a quaint looking Italian bistro. At Kate's questioning look, he explained, "It's Memorial Day weekend in the Hamptons. We go any farther in, and we won't be eating until Thursday. But here, you can enjoy the best-kept secret on the island, and then after dinner, we can head in to the clubs."

"We're on your turf, Castle. If you say it's good, I believe you." If there was one thing she trusted him on, it was cuisine. He'd never once steered her wrong.

"It's not just good, Kate, it's sublime."

The restaurant was full, but not crammed. They had plenty of privacy in their quiet corner, and while she saw a few people who seemed to recognize Castle, no one bothered him for an autograph. She figured they were pretty used to famous faces around here, but of course it was always a novelty to see someone in person who you were only used to seeing on tv—or on a book jacket.

When they were seated and their wine order was in, she couldn't help but comment on his small notoriety. "You seem to have some admirers, Rick," she said, indicating the furtive glances still being cast their way by men and women alike.

"You have that backwards, my dear." At her curious look, he elaborated. "I do believe it's my stunning companion who is commanding their attention. At best, I have their envy."

"Me?" she sounded incredulous and very uncomfortable with the idea that the two of them together could attract so much attention in a place known for showcasing some of the world's most beautiful people. But taking a closer look, she finally realized that, indeed, the attention was directed at her.

"The one and only." And he couldn't be more proud to have her by his side.

Determined to ignore the few remaining curious glances their way, Kate opened her menu and pondered the varied and ample choices. "So, ah, what do you recommend?"

"Honestly, everything. I've never had anything here that wasn't delicious. However, I am partial to the linguini a la vongole and the veal marsala."

In the end, they split an order of steamed mussels, while Kate took is advice on the clam sauce, and Castle opted for pesto over penne with portabello mushrooms, which Kate stared at with obvious interest.

"Am I to assume we've already reached this stage in our relationship?"

"And what stage is that, might I ask?" Her tone dripped with playful sarcasm that he found utterly disarming.

"The one where you eyeball my plate and I'm just expected to know you want a taste."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think we've been in that stage since the first time you ordered sesame chicken from East Wind."

"Touché, Detective," he said, lifting his Merlot and saluting her while she stabbed her fork into his dish and sampled the pesto. She didn't bother to correct him on the defunct title this time, secretly enjoying the way he'd somehow turned it into a term of endearment.

Kate wasn't sure she'd ever enjoyed a meal — or a date — so much in her life. Castle was everything she had come to know him to be — charming, witty, engaging, and deftly competent at keeping the conversation away from her job and the anxiety of Ryan's phone call. Appreciating the effort, she wondered to herself how she had ever fallen for the shallow playboy act he'd worked so hard to maintain. Why had she refused for so long to see how flimsy that guise truly was? Looking into his eyes, alight with mirth and something much deeper, something that had been there for a long time and that she now knew was love, she felt the muscles of her abdomen contract with emotion. After so much pain, so much denial and resistance, she finally knew what it meant to be fully committed to another person. She could read his eyes in a glance and judge his mood from the set of his shoulders. She knew the texture of his lips as they grazed her skin and had memorized the contours of his chest and arms. Darting her eyes to his fingers, she saw them as they had been, splayed across her stomach or trailing down the curve of her breast, so sure of their purpose, yet reverent as they caressed every millimeter of her body.

Just the memory brought a flush to her cheeks, as well as to other parts of her anatomy. But the most profound thought of all was simply that there was no longer even the merest hint of a wall between them. Every pretense and denial was gone, evaporated like fog in the morning sun. Even in their conversations about the future, they openly used collective language, acknowledging that their futures were inextricably twined.

"Penny for your thoughts."

Smiling at her memories of their lovemaking, she replied, "I think they're worth a little more than a penny."

"Oh yeah, how much we talkin'?"

"Don't worry, Castle, I think you've got it covered."


	10. Chapter 10

**In The Hamptons**

**Disclaimer: Still the rightful property of the brilliant A.W. Marlowe.**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

The drive into East Hampton gave them just enough time for their stomachs to stop feeling quite so stuffed from dinner. Kate couldn't help but notice that the Ferrari was far less out of place here, among BMWs, Miatas, and more than a few Italian imports. And suddenly she wasn't quite so sure about this, especially when she caught sight of a group of people with cameras who were obviously not tourists.

"Castle, there are paparazzi here," she half-whispered, half-squeaked.

"It's the start of the season, Kate. There are probably dozens of major celebrities in town — but don't worry," he added reassuringly, "I'm definitely not one of them. These guys have their eyes out for people with last names like Hilton and Trump. Castle isn't even on their radar."

"But you've been in the paper before, several times as I recall."

"Yeah, thanks to my publicist's best efforts to sell books. Besides," he said, leaning in and whispering in her ear, "there's a big difference between the attention you draw when you show up on a red carpet with models trained to attract eyes and when you're out on a romantic date with the woman you love."

His words sent a shiver through her body, but as he predicted, not a flash went off as they walked toward the entrance to the club, despite the stunning sight they made. Out here, they just blended in.

"You sure you're okay with the 'club scene'?"

"It's not my usual night out, especially given the locale, but I'm in an adventurous mood."

"Oh yeah?" he practically growled, as his hand slipped under the loose edge of the open back of her dress to curl around her waist, drawing her closer when he felt her sharp intake of breath.

"As long as we're not the oldest people in here," she said on a rush of arousal and a glance his way.

"Not likely," he said with a laugh. "A few blocks over, we might be competing with Alexis' crowd, but this place is known for slightly more 'sophisticated' clientele."

"Then how do you manage to get in?" she shot back with a devilish grin that turned almost molten when she felt his hand slide up, deliciously close to the side of her breast.

"Very funny."

"I thought so," she managed to choke out in a calm voice that belied her actual state.

As they approached the crowded entrance, his hand retreated to a more respectable place on her back, much to her mixed relief and disappointment. Inside, the music was loud, the lights glaring, and the press of bodies unavoidable. It was a microcosm of pure energy, and Kate felt it begin to seep into her system like a drug. Her body became loose and relaxed, her worries and inhibitions punched their timecards and went home for the evening, and every nerve ending took the opportunity to stand at attention and absorb as much sensation as possible.

This time, when she slithered up against Castle, it wasn't a ruse to tell him to scope out a suspect, and when she turned her back to him, he didn't have to content himself with simply staring at the tight curves of her hips and behind. Instead, he reached his hands out and drew her against him, clueing her in to the affect she has having on his body. She turned back around to face him, again pressing her body flush against his, and swayed to the low beat of the music while his hands skimmed her bare back.

Castle, ever the voyeur, could do little more than watch the transformation before him. He knew she possessed the potential to lose herself in her environment —he'd just so rarely had the opportunity to see it actually happen. At work, sure, he'd seen her slip into a zone at a crime scene or become almost trancelike in front of a murder board, but to see her relax in a dance club without a suspect to fool was unprecedented. In the last few weeks, he found himself time and again marveling at the prolonged exposure he now had to a Kate Beckett who was not perpetually stressed, sarcastic, and hiding behind a wall of fears and insecurity.

It was a side of her he was determined to see far more of — especially when he got to see it scantily encased in black silk.

His hand rode low on her hip, feeling the warm skin flush with energy and excitement. "How about a drink?"

She nodded and swayed against him as they wove their way through the throng of people. Pressed possessively to his side, she gave herself over completely to the anonymity and the freedom of feeling the pulse of the music thrum through her veins. She was unencumbered by anything except the love of a man she could legally torture for the next few hours as she rubbed against him under the thin guise of dancing. Her entire existence was reduced to one room and one man whose every look made her heart leap and blood run fast and hot – and she didn't have to pretend otherwise. She could give into it, embrace it, and openly return the favor. Nothing else in her life mattered except the feeling of a hundred mounting sensations coursing through her. It was escapism at its very best, and Kate was committed to prolonging every delicious second of it.


	11. Chapter 11

**In The Hamptons**

**Disclaimer: Still the rightful property of the brilliant A.W. Marlowe.**

**The M rating goes back into effect – big time.**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

Kate's euphoria carried her the entire drive home, aided by the feel of Castle's hand glancing along her leg from knee to thigh. When he ventured too high and sent her heart skittering in a rush of anticipation, she clamped her hand over his and intertwined their fingers in order to still his.

"Did you enjoy the evening?" he asked, content to feel her fingers wrapped around his, absently caressing his knuckles.

"Immensely. Though I hope the fun's not over yet," she volleyed back as she moved their joined hands to her lap and allowed his fingertips to scratch enticingly at her thigh through the thin material of her dress.

"Not by a long shot," he promised.

Their nights out in New York over the preceding weeks had been comparatively unpretentious. They had stuck to small restaurants, casual clothes, and decidedly low-key establishments. It had been enough to enjoy the simple pleasure of each other's company, unencumbered by pretense and denial, and they had both wanted to take some time getting used to the lack of long-established boundaries. But as Kate declared earlier in the evening, this was special. They were on vacation in the Hamptons, and such an occasion called for a little excessive living, if only for one night. Besides, she mused, her presence at all sorts of venues, from swanky clubs to society luncheons would probably come to be expected as it became known she was the significant other of a rather significant author. To Kate's mind, very little could top an evening at The Old Haunt with the usual suspects, but she also didn't exactly recoil at the thought of accompanying Castle to a few high profile events. While the subject warranted more consideration, now was hardly the time, she decided, as their drive came to an end. And, Kate thought to herself, if all it took was the sight of her in a dress to bring out the hungry look in his eye she'd been treated to all night, she'd gladly accept any excuse to achieve those ends.

But several minutes later, thoughts of the future dissolved in the press of his lips to hers as they crossed the threshold into the house. Moving quickly, she wrapped her arms around his neck to keep her balance against his onslaught.

"Castle!" she growled, losing all credibility when her voice gave way to a laugh as he propelled her toward the stairs. With nary a second to regain her balance or do little more than allow herself to be half carried in whichever direction he choose, she gave herself over to his impatient and utterly graceless march toward the bedroom, all the while savoring his mouth as it coursed over hers. Along the way, she managed to push his jacket from his shoulders and undo the buttons on his shirt, giving her more skin to devour in an effort to match is assault on her lips and neck.

"You know very well you've been torturing me with that dress all night. And now I'm going to enjoy stripping every last decadent scrap of material from your body and then returning the favor." His tone boarded somewhere between a promise and a threat, and the idea of Castle making it his mission to subject her to an equal degree of tantalizing arousal she'd directed his way all night had her knees turning to jelly.

With the bed in front of them, Castle stopped and gave her all of two seconds to get her feet under her before he brought his lips to hers and plunged into the wet heat of her mouth. A million times he could do this, and he knew each time would feel like the first because he would never take this woman for granted. They'd endured too much and had waited too long for him to ever stop feeling so incredibly grateful and awestruck by the simple pleasure of kissing her. Knowing it didn't have to end there, that he could go further and feel her bare skin, feel her writhing beneath him as he moved inside of her, brought a wave of arousal so strong he felt every muscle in his body contract in an effort to regain control.

Drawing back to look at her, he took in all of her exquisite beauty – the high cheekbones and luminous, uninhibited eyes framed by waves of soft chestnut hair, and lips swollen from kissing and begging for more. He skimmed his hands from their place at her hips, up to her narrow waist, past the enticing curve of her breasts, along the slope of her collarbone where he could still see the skin flushed from his mouth, until finally he brought his fingers to rest under her jaw. Holding her there, he leaned in with impossible patience until their lips met in a kiss that spoke of tender emotion, rather than the passion that had chased them from the car. His mouth was soft and wet as it pressed deeply against her, but not greedy, not hungry. He wanted to give, to speak, to express in actions what he could only convey in three words that were at once unparalleled in their universal power but also wholly inadequate for all she made him feel. Still, they were all he had, and he could only hope they were enough.

"I love you, Kate. I love you so much."

"Rick." His name was said on a breath, almost a prayer, as she brought her mouth back to his, offering the same promise. "I love you, too."

With barely more than a flick of his wrists, the thin strap of her dress fell from her shoulders, allowing the material slide uninterrupted to the floor, leaving him awestruck by the sight before him. A fierce hunger returned to his eyes as he swept them over her.

"You little minx," he growled when he saw the complete absence of undergarments beneath her dress.

She smiled mischievously, lowered her eye lashes and walked backward until her calves bumped into the bed. "Surprise," she whispered, sitting back and slipping her feet from her heels. Seeing the dark arousal in his eyes, as well as straining against his pants, she expected him to practically pounce on her in a fit of uncontrolled lust. Instead, he raked his eyes over her body like he was seeing her for the first time. He took in every hill and valley, every curve and slope, and he knew she had no equal. Her arms were long and graceful, but cut with definition that spoke of power and confidence. Her stomach was flat and soft, until she flexed and the muscles bunched beneath the smooth skin. He knew her legs, tone and endless, could run for miles – and still grip him like a vice when he kneeled between them.

She was an impossibly erotic combination of strength and vulnerability – a combination that made him want to draw out both sides of her with sensual ministrations tailored for her body. And if it took him all night, that's exactly what he planned to do.

The pile of clothes on the floor grew as his shirt and pants joined her dress. As he made is way toward her, she murmured, "I think you forgot something," pointing to his navy silk boxers.

"Nope. That's off-limits for now. It's my turn to play."

She arched her eyebrow in question, but he didn't elaborate. Instead, he walked toward where she was reclining on the bed, her legs still dangling off the side. He placed his hands at her knees and slid them upward, feeling the smooth expanse of thigh quiver in anticipation. As if of their own accord, her legs parted to accommodate him, but he bypassed their ever-so-tempting juncture and continued to caress her hips, then her stomach, until finally skimming both hands up between her breasts and sweeping across her collarbone and shoulders. In moments he had her positioned in the middle of the bed, and he began his assault.

Her lips were soft and pliant as they sought his, and he responded with bold strokes of his tongue seeking to collect every breath she offered. He grazed his teeth along her bottom lip before returning to lick within the open heat of her mouth.

He nibbled at her jawline, suckled at the place where her pulse jumped erratically in her neck, and grazed over the shallow indention at the base of her throat. He tasted everywhere, while his hands stroked and swirled over her hips and torso, tracing the contours of her abdomen but staying well clear of the areas straining desperately for this touch. Moving down her arm, he kissed her shoulder, using his hand to trace a similar pattern on her other side. He nipped her bicep, feeling the muscle harden and contract, before moving to the softness of her inner elbow. There, his tongue stroked and sucked the sensitive skin, even as his thumb rubbed vigorous circles at the same place on her other arm.

Kate twisted and squirmed at the dual sensations. "Castle, please …"

"Shhh, just enjoy," he murmured, sliding across her body to reach her other arm and offer it the same attention. Lifting her hand, he brought her wrist to his mouth, then kissed each fingertip and swirled his tongue across her palm.

She shivered at the gentle caress of his mouth.

In a moment, he was back at her mouth, swallowing her whimpers as his fingers circled the tip of her breast without touching the straining peak. Her body was vibrating with the need to be touched, and all he did was stroll leisurely from her lips to her chest, stopping, as always, to kiss the scar that stood sentry at her heart.

Lifting his head he watched her face, eyes closed tight with need, as he finally brushed his hand over her aching tip. Immediately, her back arched and her eyes flew to his, a moan forcing its way from her throat.

"You like that?" he whispered.

"Yes," she hissed breathlessly, arching into him, seeking more.

He obliged – amply – drawing wracking sobs from her with his mouth and fingers by laving, pinching, suckling and nipping until she was nigh incoherent. And then he let her rest, stroking his hand along her abdomen, massaging the bunched muscles until they quieted their protest. He laced their fingers and brought her hand in for a kiss, then massaged his palm along her arms. His touch was soft and sure, keeping her wanting more, but giving her time to breathe.

"Rick, I want you." Her voice was a whisper, part inviting, part demanding.

"Eventually, I promise. But I'm not done with you yet."

When she stubbornly rolled toward him and tried to reach for his boxers, he moved swiftly to capture her hands and pin them above her head, rolling on top of her in the process. "Not so fast," he said, leaning in to graze his mouth over hers while her arms pushed against him, the press of her body testing his resolve as he thought of how easy it would be to press himself inside her. But he wanted this night to be for her, no matter what. "We both know you have the moves to get out of this, but the question is, do you really want to?"

To prove his point, he transferred her narrow wrists to one hand and used the other to slide down her body, stroking her breast along the way. In a second, he was perched at her center, teasing her ever so lightly, barely making contact as his fingers danced from her belly button to her inner thigh. While his fingers tormented her by withholding actual touch where she wanted it most, his mouth dipped generously into hers, gliding across her lips and thrusting inside until the tension in her arms slackened in surrender.

"Let me love you." His words were spoken into her mouth, and when her wrists slipped free of his grasp, she moved them to his face to hold him to her.

It took a herculean effort to relinquish his place on her mouth, but the slow slide down her body, kissing her neck and breasts as he went, made it all worth it. He dragged the rough stubble of his jaw across the sensitized skin of her breasts and stomach, reigniting the frenzy of her arousal. With practiced skill, he traced a line between her hipbones, swirling his tongue wetly around her belly button before continuing downward. His palms moved broadly down her thighs while he nibbled at her abs, feeling the press of her hips as she arched into him. Cupping her knees, he drew them up until his lips found the sensitive underside. Slowly, he dragged his tongue up and down, alternating from one leg to the other, all the while rubbing his hand against her stomach, then running his fingers along her thigh and down to massage her calf, ankle, and foot.

It was a languid, patient homage, giving due time to each part of her and rubbing every muscle until they relaxed in surrender against his ardent attention. Each touch drew an array of sounds from her mouth – some were words, others a mingling of gasps and whimpers. And all the while, her anticipation heightened, her need for him multiplying with every caress.

His fingers were strong as they worked up and down each leg, moving closer to the glistening juncture. But his mouth found her first, hovering for a moment, then boldly dipping down.

She bowed against the bed and cried out, clutching at the sheets and digging her heels into the mattress. Her whole body was alight with the effects of his intimate exploration. Every stroke of his tongue and every scrape of his teeth ricocheted through her, igniting her body over and over. The intensity was blinding.

His hands rubbed and stroked wherever they could reach, pressing against her with strong, sure movements until moving toward her center and finally slipping slowly inside her. Kate arched and fell, not knowing whether she was advancing or retreating. Her body sang with need even as she tumbled uncontrollably toward the inevitable release that was building within her. Breathless and loose, she felt him withdraw and nearly wept at the sudden, maddening absence. But then he was on her, his lips at hers, drinking in her gasps. His arms encircled her back, scooping her off the bed and bringing her flush against him even as he pressed himself into her and felt the molten heat envelope him.

Her body was slick and loose, winding up around him until they were both supported on the strength of his quads. Rocking and thrusting, they clung to each other, hands groping and skimming, lips grazing and nipping. Kate's whole existence was mélange of sensation and intensity as she hurtled toward the release that had been building all night. The feel of her tightening against him was all it took. His body tensed, gripping him in a single moment of blissful, agonizing expectancy before shattering around her quaking body. Stripped of all coherence, his ragged, desperate name was dragged from her lips as she fell with him into oblivion.


	12. Chapter 12

**In The Hamptons**

**Disclaimer: Still the rightful property of the brilliant A.W. Marlowe.**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Kate woke up the following morning to the sun streaming through the expanse of windows across from the bed. Raising one eyelid, she squinted against the glare and saw that she was alone in the bed. And she was still naked, which was rare for her. Her training included an ingrained aversion to being naked while sleeping, in the event of a fire, break-in, or other potential crisis. Even if it was only panties and a cami, she wore something to reduce that vulnerability. But after the sexual gauntlet – correction, the wonderful, exquisite, most erotic sexual gauntlet in the history of the world – that Castle had subjected her to, she had slept more deeply and soundly than she had in her whole life. And the evidence was staring her in the face. The sun was high, and she'd slept through her alarm, hadn't heard Castle get out of bed, and was stretching like a cat on a windowsill at nine-thirty in the morning. Life didn't get much better.

She heard movement downstairs and figured it was time she put in an appearance. Donning shorts and her Yankees t-shirt, she finished off her hasty ensemble with a loose pony tail and made for the stairs. Her stomach began to rumble at the smell of bacon – and was that waffle batter? That man really did love her.

Kate's carefree jaunt to the kitchen was pulled up short when her eyes scanned the room and landed on a familiar length of red hair.

The unexpected sight of Alexis at the kitchen table caused Kate's heart to skip with nervousness. She knew the girl was due in, but she hadn't realized she would arrive so early. This was exactly the kind of awkward, homey, uncertain encounter she had hoped to avoid, but it appeared there was little to be done about it now, especially as Castle glanced up from his task at the counter, and his eyes met her in a wide, welcoming grin that she was powerless to resist.

"Kate!" he chirped.

Alexis turned in her seat and offered a warm, though still somewhat reserved, smile. "G'morning."

Kate smiled at Rick, knowing her cheeks were the color of the strawberries he was slicing for, yes, waffles. Then she turned her attention to his daughter. "Hi. Um, sorry I overslept. I didn't realize you'd be here this early … not that that's a problem. I mean, it's your house."

Kate couldn't believe how bad she was rambling. She was just caught really off guard, and the last thing she wanted was to run any risk of Alexis feeling like a third wheel. That was still Kate's role, as far as she was concerned. Alexis was gracious enough to accept her presence, and Kate wanted the teenager to know she didn't take that hospitality for granted, regardless of her relationship with Rick.

"That's fine. Dad said you two were out late last night."

"Yeah, we were." Kate paused for a moment before deciding to change the subject – quickly. "So, ah, what time did you get here?"

"Only a few minutes ago. I left the city around seven to avoid the worst of the holiday traffic."

Kate glanced out the window and caught sight of the sporty silver Mercedes Rick had bought his daughter for her graduation. He knew it was excessive, but he wanted her to have her own safe, yet stylish transportation when she needed it. And if he couldn't spoil her on her graduation, well, where was the fun in being the Cool Dad?

Alexis continued with the story of her weekend. "I had five grad parties to go to in two days, so a quiet drive this morning was much appreciated. I love my friends, but by the time I left Paige's party, I was ready to enjoy the weekend on my terms."

Rick chose that moment to chime in. "And Alexis drove two hours at practically the crack of dawn just to request my waffles."

Kate looked at Castle and said, "Homemade waffles? You've been holding out on me, Castle."

"Can't reveal all my secrets at once. Gotta keep a few cards buried," he said with a wink.

A few minutes later, they were all seated around the table helping themselves to Rick's buffet of breakfast foods, including bacon, fresh fruit, granola and yogurt, fresh orange juice, and melt-in-your-mouth waffles topped with strawberries and dripping with freshly whipped cream. Oh, and of course, coffee.

Conversation flowed easily as plans for the day were proposed and discussed, which admittedly ended up being pretty informal. With a pointed look at Castle, Kate said, "Since I missed my run this morning, and the high today is supposed to be 92, I thought I'd spend some time in the water. The waves are still pretty big from the storm yesterday so that will give me a workout. Other than that, I'm flexible."

"What about you, munchkin?" Castle asked his daughter.

"After a weekend of parties, I want a lounge chair, a book, and an endless supply of iced tea."

"Oooh," Kate purred, "that's a plan I can work with."

"Well then, while you ladies are swimming and lounging, I'll head into town and pick up a few things to go with the steaks in the fridge."

Kate felt a moment's anxiety at being left alone with Alexis, fleetingly fearful that the young woman would feel trapped or obligated to make nice. But after what she hoped was an open and cautious glance at Alexis, Kate was relieved to see only amiable agreement. She brushed aside her worry and hoped the time alone would allow the two of them to make some progress over the hill Kate knew still stood between them. Maybe they would both feel a little more comfortable with everything if they had some time together without Castle's hovering, albeit welcomed, presence.

When the dishes were done, Kate went to change into her swimsuit and heard Castle mutter, "Figures she puts it on when I'm leaving."

She shot him a look over her shoulder and looked to make sure Alexis was on the other side of the sliding glass doors before retorting with, "Maybe if you're lucky, I'll let you take it off."


	13. Chapter 13

**In The Hamptons**

**Disclaimer: Still the rightful property of the brilliant A.W. Marlowe.**

AN: I am very sorry for the long delay. I have been without internet at home for a few weeks, and so a lot has been neglected. But hopefully, this chapter, which I think has more than its share of substance, helps make up for the long dry spell.**  
**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

The water felt sublime as it washed over her. Stroke after stroke she met the waves head on, being careful not to venture out too far and risk the wrath of a rip tide. But yesterday's storm ensured she had more than enough of a challenge as she worked her muscles against the churning water.

Alexis had joined her for a little while, and Kate was impressed at how Castle's daughter handled the relentless waves. While she'd known Alexis' love of the ocean had led Castle to buy the house, she hadn't realized exactly how strong of a swimmer the young woman was. Her academic achievements were renowned, but there was some latent athleticism that Kate had never seen, nor even known was there.

When they took a break, Kate commented, "You're really good in the water. Did you ever think about swimming competitively?"

"Yeah, in fact I did when I was younger, for a swim club we belonged to for a while. But when I got older, other things just seemed to become more important. I mean, I can swim anywhere, anytime on my own, but things like science fairs and writing workshops can only be done through school. I guess sports just wasn't where I felt competitive."

"I know what you mean. Being on the tall side, everyone always asked me why I didn't play basketball. Sure, I liked it, but I liked a lot of other stuff, too – music, motorcycles, books, clothes, running. I could never settle on anything, and I was afraid that committing to something would mean giving up something else."

Alexis nodded, understanding the frustrating need to prioritize. "Exactly. Did Dad ever tell you about my brief stint as a wannabe cheerleader?"

The vague memory of Castle's abject horror at the possibility came back to Kate, and she nodded with a smile. "As a matter of fact …"

"Yeah, well, that's when I realized you really have to want something to put in that kind of time and effort. I decided, standing on the sidelines cheering on other people was not how I wanted to spend my time."

Kate laughed, understanding the sentiment.

A few minutes later, Kate decided to return to the water for more exercise, but Alexis said her book was calling, and her muscles were protesting even the thought of more time fighting the waves. Parting ways, they spent the next thirty minutes engaged in their own pursuits before Kate felt she adequately compensated for her missed run. The outdoor shower felt wonderful – though, she thought wistfully, not quite as good as it had the day before when she had been wrapped around Castle as the spray washed off the sand and salt.

Smiling at the memory, she toweled dry and padded up to the deck to take up a place across from Alexis. Eyeing the tray of cheese, cold cuts, crackers, and veggies, Kate helped herself before offering her thanks for the snacks.

"No problem. I was hungry and figured you'd want something, too, after your workout. There's also water in the cooler."

Settling down in the lounge chair, Kate balanced her water bottle, plate of food, and Kindle until she could settle it all around her. She navigated to her place in the e-book, picked at her food, and began reading.

"Literature, smut, or news?" Alexis asked.

"I'm sorry?" Kate replied, not sure what the question was.

"Your book – lit, smut, or news. E-readers don't come with revealing covers, and I was just wondering what you were reading. If you don't mind," she added hastily, suddenly realizing maybe Kate didn't want to share.

"Well, it's not Jane Austen, _Fifty Shades of Grey_, or the _New York Times_," she replied cryptically. In truth, her answer was a bit of a stall tactic while she decided whether to be honest. It's not that she was ashamed, but maybe "self-conscious" wouldn't be inaccurate.

"O-kay … ?" Alexis said in a drawn out question.

"What if I said it was _Storm Warning_?" Kate said sheepishly.

"Seriously? You're reading one of Dad's books." Alexis was surprised, but found there was a pleasant kind of pride and admiration underneath it. But then she realized she couldn't resist the blunt, obvious question: "Why?"

Kate took a minute to consider her answer. Castle didn't even know she was reading it – again. But maybe this could help her establish some common ground and build up some good will with his daughter. "Um, I think the short answer is because I like it. It's always been one of my favorites – "

"Wait a minute, you've read it before?" Alexis seemed truly shocked at the revelation.

"Yeah, I've read it," Kate replied honestly, surprised herself at Alexis' seeming astonishment. "I've read all his books."

Alexis' eyes were wide and guileless. She truly had never thought of Kate as a Richard Castle fan. It completely belied everything she had witnessed and heard about the woman in the past four years. Granted, she'd never held it against the detective that she found Castle annoying and interfering. That was just her father. But if Kate was a fan of his books? Wow, that just cast everything in a completely different light.

The girl sat back against her lounge chair and just stared at the woman across from her. "No kidding. So, were you like, already a fan – before you met him, I mean?"

Kate took a breath and thought, _What do I have to lose?_

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. My mom was, too. Had every book in hardcover. Well, when she died, he'd only written a dozen or so. I don't think he'd even created Derrick Storm yet. After she was killed, I picked up _A Rose For Everafter_ just to … I don't know … feel close to her or do something I knew she liked. And after that, I guess you could say I was hooked."

Alexis sat in shocked amazement, never once considering this side of the woman who'd dominated so much of her father's life in recent years. "Does Dad know all this?"

Kate shook her head. "I think he's pieced together enough to know I've read them all, but I think that's it." She trailed off with a guilty shrug, not sure how to admit she was never willing to risk the vulnerability that she felt would come with telling him how much she loved his writing.

"Well, I think that's really sweet. And rest assured, your secret's safe with me."

Kate smiled in appreciation, then added, "Yeah, his ego doesn't need any more inflating. But who knows, maybe it's time I told him. We'll see."

They both laughed at that before falling into silence, neither sure what to say next. Alexis toyed with the corner of her book, a worn copy of Kate Chopin's _The Awakening_, before tentatively asking, "Um, Kate, can I ask you something?" It took all her courage, not to mention almost optimal circumstances – with her dad gone and Kate friendly and relaxed – for her to muster the nerve to speak.

"Sure. What is it?"

"This thing with my dad – this relationship – it's pretty serious, isn't it?" There, it was out, and she couldn't take it back.

Kate nodded without hesitation. "Yeah, Alexis, it is."

"Okay, I know it's none of my business, but can I ask what happened? I mean, you guys have been working together for so long, and then all of a sudden you're … together, like really together. And he's not hiding it. My whole life, do you know how many women my dad has let spend the night when I was home?"

Kate wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to that, but all she could do was shake her head while she listened as Alexis got this out of her system.

"Three. My mom, Gina, and now you. Sure, he's dated other women, and I even met a few that he stuck with for a while, but you are the first woman besides the two he was married to that he hasn't made absolutely sure I didn't cross paths with at breakfast."

Kate was dumbfounded. It didn't surprise her at all that Castle was so circumspect in regards to exposing his daughter to his social life. But she truly hadn't considered what it might mean that his discretion did not extend to her. It made her efforts to be as unobtrusive as possible even more important, and she could only hope she'd been a little successful in not making Alexis uncomfortable in her own home.

"Um, wow, Alexis. I don't know what to say. I had no idea." She was at a total loss for words, but she fought valiantly to find them. "I, um … I think you know your dad and I did not come by this relationship the easy way."

Alexis offered a small smile that said, _That's an understatement_.

"Yeah, well," Kate continued, "I think because of that we may have skipped a few steps along the way. This doesn't feel like something brand new; it's more like we just added a new layer to what we already had." She paused, having no clue whether she was making any sense. "Oh man, this is awkward …" she mumbled more to herself than her audience.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything," Alexis said quickly.

But Kate knew Castle's daughter had a right to know a little more than her dad probably told her. His tendency to keep his problems away from Alexis was legendary, but in this case, the girl was an undeniable part of the equation.

"No, don't be. You have every right to ask." And then she launched into to probably the most exhaustive and honest assessment of her relationship with Castle to anyone besides her therapist. "The fact is, your dad and I have had feelings for each other for a long time, but I think we were both too scared to admit it, to risk what we had, insufficient though it was. This past year has been hard, but also so important for us. We both made mistakes, and I know I hurt him by pulling away and not being honest with him. I hurt a lot of people I care about because I was too selfish and scared to accept help." She said the last part with a pointed look at Alexis, hoping the girl knew she was included in that group. Detecting an almost imperceptible nod of acknowledgment, Kate continued softly, "And I almost lost Castle because of it. But we learned a lot about each other and had to rely on each other, even when we didn't want to."

"Because that's what partners do," Alexis said in barely more than a whisper.

"Yes, that's what partners do. And your dad has been the best partner I've ever had. But after a while … that wasn't enough."

Alexis stilled at the words, then looked up at Kate. "It's funny to her you say that. For the past year, Dad kept saying that being your partner was 'enough for now.' But I wondered when it wouldn't be anymore and if you'd be ready when he was. I guess I got my answer."

"Are you okay with that answer?" Kate didn't know if the question was appropriate to ask or not, but she plunged ahead anyway, wanting to know where she stood in the girl's estimation.

A part of Alexis, the part that still bore some resentment for the tension and pain she knew Kate had caused her father, wanted to answer with, _Does it matter?_ But she knew that was a petty and immature answer, two adjectives she loathed applying to herself. So she resolved to deal with whatever lingering issues she had while accepting that if her father could give Kate another chance, so could she.

"Yeah, I'm okay with it. You both have been through hell, and you still managed to come out of it together. That has to count for something, right?"

Reaching out, Kate grasped the girl's hand and squeezed for just a moment. "Thank you."

With that grueling exchange behind them, Alexis stood up and announced she was going to cool off in the pool, which Kate still hadn't taken the time to enjoy. Deciding Alexis needed some time to think, she opted for forgo joining her for now. There would be time later.

Kate breathed a deep sigh of relief as Alexis disappeared down the steps. All things considered, it could have gone a lot worse, but Kate just hoped, if nothing else, their talk would relieve some of the subtle tension that had permeated the women's interactions over the past few weeks. Grateful for all that had been said, Kate went back to her book with a lighter conscience.


	14. Chapter 14

**In The Hamptons**

**Disclaimer: Still the rightful property of the brilliant A.W. Marlowe.**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

A little while later, Kate heard the sliding door open and turned to see Castle striding onto the deck from the kitchen. "Now there's a sight to behold," he said, taking in her black suit and the long, tan body it was doing a minimal job of covering.

Leaning over her chair, he pressed a warm, open kiss to her mouth – and then nearly fell over when she wrapped her arm around his neck to pull him closer. "Welcome home," she murmured.

"I can leave again if you promise to kiss me like that when I get back."

She laughed and released her hold, allowing him to take a seat next to her. "Where's Alexis?"

As if on cue, his progeny emerged from the water and jogged up to greet him, dripping and pulling her heavy hair off her shoulders. "Hey Dad! Get everything you need?"

"And more," he promised, pulling her against him to kiss the top of her head and not giving a second thought to the wet spots he got on his clothes. It was worth it. "So what did you two do while I was gone."

Kate and Alexis' eyes met briefly and both were relieved to share a kind of good-natured conspiratorial look before Kate answered, "Not much. Swam, read, ate, enjoyed some girl talk."

"Girl talk, huh? Anything I should worry about?"

"Dad, seriously?"

"What?" he asked with false innocence. "Listen, I've heard enough stories of what that woman did as a teenager to worry about the ideas she might be putting in your head about college."

"Castle, you're not giving me much credit here," she said with a sharp look his way that was belied by the smile she couldn't suppress even for the purpose of feigning an insult.

"Or maybe I'm giving you too much," he shot back with a devilish grin of his own.

Seeing the heat that was anything but angry pass between the couple, Alexis made her decision. "On that note, I'm going to go shower and change." She headed past her father toward the house. "I've had enough of this blistering sun. Central air, here I come."

"So," Castle said, resuming his place in the chair next to Kate and taking her hand in his, "how was your swim?"

Before she could answer, the door opened again, and Alexis stepped out carrying Kate's cell phone. "Kate, this was buzzing on the counter when I went in, but it stopped before I could get it to you." Then, much more quietly, uncertain of how the news would be received, she added, "It was the precinct."

Kate's eyes flew to Rick's, even as she reached for the phone. She glanced down at the display and saw she had three missed calls: two from the main precinct number and one from Ryan, all within the last thirty minutes.

Alexis retreated softly back into the house, knowing this was not a conversation she wanted, nor needed, to be a part of.

"Castle …" Kate whispered, having no idea what else to say.

"Kate, it's your call. If you turn the phone off and throw it into the ocean, we'll head into the house, grill some steaks, and not give it a second thought. And if you call back – if you want to go back – I'll be packed before you hang up."

Without hesitation, she went to him, her arms wrapping like iron bands around him. He returned the embrace in all its intensity, pulling her tight against him and cradling her head as it rested against his shoulder.

But before either one could say anything else, Kate's phone started to vibrate where it sat on the table. The caller ID said, "The 12th," and Kate knew only one person would be calling from that number. Even though Ryan had given her a heads up to expect it, she hadn't thought Gates would actually call, and even with Castle's unwavering support and reassuring presence, she wasn't looking forward speaking to her captain.

"You gonna answer it?" he said softly.

"Don't have much choice. I can't hide forever." Pressing the "accept" button, she kept her voice neutral. "Hello."

"Hello, Detective Beckett."

"Captain Gates," she acknowledged curtly.

"I trust your time off is going well."

"Yes, sir." She wasn't about to divulge any details just yet.

"I'm glad to hear that, really. But the reason for my call is slightly more formal – and pressing," Gates admitted.

"Forgive me for not thinking this was a social call," Kate said tightly.

"Detective – Kate, your resignation papers are ready to be signed, if you are still committed to giving up your job here. However, I was hoping we could discuss the matter a little more fully before you walk away, especially given the current circumstances."

A little surprised, Kate simply replied, "Sir?"

A heavy sigh came through the phone, and Kate could almost see Gates slipping off her glasses and rubbing the bridge of her nose. "I know it's been a hard year for you, and I didn't always make it easier …"

Kate checked the urge to say, _No kidding._

"… But the fact is, you're the best I have. I don't pretend to know everything that led to your decision to leave, but I want you to know that no one is going to hold you to this resignation."

"Did Ryan put you up to this?" She wasn't pulling any punches; she had no reason to.

"I've spoken to both members of your team about the matter, and they asked that I speak to you. However, the decision to ask you to reconsider is mine alone. I know it's a holiday weekend, and you still have some time left on your leave, but the fact is we have four murders on our hands and not one lead."

"Four? Ryan said two." Kate's stomach tightened painfully at the new information. Her instincts began to hum as she tried to focus on Gates' voice.

"That was yesterday. We got one last night, around eleven, and another at ten this morning. Both were men this time, but with the same blue ribbon. That's when I asked Detective Esposito to return to active duty, and now I'm asking you. Four victims in less than three days means I need the best my precinct offers, and recent events notwithstanding, I'm not above saying that's you."

Kate didn't know what to say. She looked at Castle, but as he'd only heard her brief side of the conversation, there wasn't much he could offer.

Tentatively, she said, "I appreciate your request, but I need a little while to think on this. You're right about one thing, this year has been hell for me, and I don't relish the thought of coming back to a case that is well into its third day and will undoubtedly consume me in every way." Deciding she had nothing to lose, she continued a little more forcefully, "These last few weeks have helped me get my priorities straight, and whether or not I come back just for this case or permanently, I'm not sacrificing them for the job again."

"Understood, detective. I expect your decision within the hour so that I can move forward from there."

"Yes, sir, you'll have it. One more thing, Captain. Does this offer of amnesty include Castle?"

"Do I have a choice?" Gates asked, without apology.

"No sir, not if you want me."

"Well then, I think that's all."

Kate disconnected after a terse goodbye and looked over to meet Castle's very penetrating stare.

"I take it she wants you back."

Kate nodded as the implications of the phone call swirled through her head.


	15. Chapter 15

**In The Hamptons**

**Disclaimer: Still waiting for those ownership papers to arrive. I was told they were in the mail. Until then, still not mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

"They have four victims now – one last night and another this morning." Kate's voice was flat and emotionless as she relayed the information. "Gates gave me an hour to make up my mind."

"Kate …"

In truth, Castle had no idea what to say. This was her decision. The most he could offer was the comfort of his presence.

Standing up, she moved toward the edge of the deck, looking out toward the water. She knew his eyes were on her, waiting, but he gave her space and let her work through her thoughts.

From his chair, Castle watched her, desperate to know what was going through her head, but four years had taught him that patience would serve him better now than curiosity. So he sat silently, not even sure himself what he hoped she would choose. The past three weeks had been practically idyllic, especially when compared to the previous month. Kate was more relaxed and happy than he'd ever seen her, and so much of the weariness he was used to seeing in her face had melted into a cautious contentment. But there were still shadows, he knew – shadows that called her back to the job she loved and was so damned good at. She was a cop. It was a part of her, like being a writer was part of him. What would he do if he wasn't able to transfer the stories onto paper that perpetually percolated in his mind? Likewise, how could she read about murders happening in her city and not want to do everything she could to bring justice and closure to the victims? Yes, he believed she was more than capable of channeling those skills and instincts into other pursuits – and he'd told her as much the day before – but he could see in her posture and the tension in her shoulders that she was pitting everything she'd felt in the past three weeks against everything she'd lived by for the past ten years. He might not be able to fight the battle for her, but he'd make damn sure he was there to help her with whatever decision she made.

Her voice, soft and sad, startled him out of his reverie.

"I thought it would be my mother's case that would drag me back. Maddox is still out there, along with whoever is behind it. And even though I walked away, I have no way of knowing if they'll let it be over. What if they are still after me, and I don't even know it?"

She fell silent and then turned toward him.

"I've wondered that, too," he confessed. He wouldn't insult her with a denial.

But Kate had more to say, and even if it was only for her own peace of mind, he was going to let her work though it however she needed to.

"I was ready for that, though. If they came after me, I'd fight. I'd defend myself and fight like hell to bring them down because I won't give up my life to them. But I won't go after them either. That was my compromise. I won't bring the war to them anymore." She paused for a moment, then moved on to the decision she faced. "But here's this other case, out of nowhere, and it's calling me back. My captain is calling me back. Four people dead, Castle. How do I walk away from that?"

Castle mulled his answer for a moment before speaking, not sure what weight his opinion carried, but trusting she wanted to hear it. "Kate, there will always be a reason to not walk away. If I've learned anything in the past four years it's that people will always find new and disturbing ways to kill each other. This isn't just about this one case, because there will always be horrible cases that you want to solve, families you want to give answers to. But maybe you need to find out if you're really ready to resign for good now that some of the emotion that led to that decision has dissipated. Maybe this case can help you decide the bigger question."

She closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck in a fierce embrace. "You know me so well," she murmured against his jaw. Pulling back, she continued, "You're right. I need to know if I'm really done with police work, or if I just told myself that to try and get some distance from Maddox and my mother's killer."

He nodded, accepting her answer, and not feeling one bit surprised by it. He didn't want her to have any regrets. "Call Gates, and let me tell Alexis. We'll leave in twenty minutes."

But Kate shook her head. "No, Rick, you stay here with your daughter. She drove all the way up here to spend the holiday with you. Don't abandon her, even for this."

Both were so intent on the weight of Kate's decision they hadn't heard the door slide open behind them minutes earlier. "No," Alexis said from the doorway, having overheard enough of the conversation to feel like she needed to speak up. "Dad, you need to go back."

They both turned at the sound of her voice, but before either could say anything, Alexis continued, "I'm sorry for interrupting. I was going to come outside, but I heard you talking and …" Her guilty face was all the evidence they needed to know she had given in to the temptation to eavesdrop, but they could hardly blame her given the circumstances.

"Alexis –"

"No, Kate. He's your partner, right? That's what you said. So we'll put the steaks in the freezer, and we'll just delay our dinner until you guys can come back."

"That might be a few days," Castle said, caught between the two biggest priorities in his life.

"That's okay. This is more important." Alexis was clearly adamant – and more importantly, sincere.

Castle went up and wrapped both arms around his daughter. "How'd I get so lucky?"

"Just be careful, okay? Both of you," she added, looking at Kate.


	16. Chapter 16

**In The Hamptons**

**Disclaimer: Still waiting for those ownership papers to arrive. I was told they were in the mail. Until then, still not mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

True to his word, Castle had them on the road in twenty minutes. Kate's call to the captain was brief and direct, informing Gates that she and Castle were on their way but were out of town and would need a few hours. She didn't elaborate on the circumstances, and Gates didn't ask.

Alexis insisted on closing up the house after them and told Castle she'd be home that evening. "I'm eighteen years old, Dad, I can handle putting some food away and locking the doors."

Kate and Castle left their clothes and personal items as a way to ensure they would continue with their weekend at the earliest possible time. Even if Kate decided to go back to her job, she was taking a little more time to herself first. This case was an emergency, and she wasn't going to leave her team hanging. For her, the priority was preventing any more murders, but she was all too aware that the side effect of the case was her future with the NYPD.

One consolation was that most traffic was headed out of the city, so they cruised along the highway and arrived in Manhattan in record time. Conversation was limited on the drive as both of them were preoccupied with their own thoughts, but the enormity of what they were facing could not be ignored.

"You sure you're okay with this?" Castle asked when the silence became heavy with their individual thoughts and fears. His words acted as a release valve, alleviating the pressure that was pressing down on them.

"Honestly, no."

For a moment, Castle thought that was all she was going to say, but he decided to give her time anyway before asking for more. He'd read a parenting article once when Alexis was about twelve and just on the cusp of adolescence that suggested using car rides as a way to broach difficult subjects like sex or drugs. It said the confined environment was conducive to conversation while the need to face forward reduced awkward eye contact. Castle had no doubt Kate would prove as savvy as Alexis had been in discerning the psychology of their conversation, but he also hoped she'd prove equally amenable nonetheless.

A few seconds later, his patience paid off as she made the decision to explain her feelings, using the only other time she'd been so indecisive as an analogy to her current state of mind. It probably wasn't the best comparison, but it was the best she had.

"I never told you how my therapist once asked me whether I was afraid that you wouldn't wait for me to be ready for this relationship, or if I was more afraid that you would."

"Really? When was that?" She'd already confessed Dr. Burke had been all too aware of their undefined, fledgling relationship. But for Castle's level of curiosity, she hadn't come close to divulging what he would consider a sufficient amount of detail. Therefore, he would eagerly snatch up any crumb of information she chose to throw his way.

"A while back, last fall. I was feeling insecure and didn't know how to reconcile these feelings of possessiveness I had with the knowledge that I had no right to them."

"About me?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you have a right to feel possessive?"

"Well, because." She faltered, trying to recall why it made so much sense all those months ago. "Because we weren't together, and I couldn't very well tell you that you couldn't be with someone else when I wasn't willing-slash-able to be with you or even outright ask you to wait for me. It wouldn't have been fair."

Castle stared ahead at the road, grateful it was nearly deserted, trying to figure out what she was talking about and what it had to do with what was going on in the present. He wasn't having much luck with either question.

"Kate, you're gonna have to help me out, because I have no idea where this is going. I wasn't seeing anyone last fall, so why were you talking to your therapist about this?"

Kate hadn't meant to open up a can of worms this big. She had wanted to make a quick analogy, but she saw the relevancy slipping away. She needed to get it back.

"It doesn't matter. The point is, Burke asked me what I was more afraid of, that you wouldn't wait for me, or that you would. I think he wanted me to think about whether I was doing things to intentionally sabotage myself – to sabotage us."

"Were you?"

"I don't know, Rick. I hope not, but honestly, I didn't trust my own feelings. And I think that meant I sometimes came across as unaffected when I was actually terrified."

His eyes never wavered from the road, but she could see the impact her words were having. He knew what she meant, because he'd been on the receiving end of those mixed signals.

"Anyway," she continued, "that's how I feel now. I don't know whether I want this case to reaffirm my decision to resign or to feel like the homecoming I didn't know I was missing. I don't know what I'm more afraid of."

He didn't know what to say to that – to any of it. He'd finally put the pieces together and realized she had been talking about her feelings when they'd worked with the insurance investigator on the museum murder. He distinctly remembered being utterly unsure of her feelings about Serena's interest in him. He'd almost thought she had been encouraging him to pursue the sexy blonde, and he couldn't make sense of it at the time. Now, it was all a little clearer; he just wished he'd had the wisdom to see her act for what it was back then. Lucky for him, Serena had.

But that was beside the point. Her purpose was to draw a parallel to her situation now and to figure out if she was once again going to sabotage her true feelings about returning to police work. Glancing over at her, he was pretty certain she'd come a long way in the last eight months.

A few moments later, they pulled up in front of the twelfth. The familiar stone facade caused Kate's heart to jump in her chest. Was it with fear or excitement?

"Kate."

He didn't continue until she looked at him. "It's going to be okay. No matter what you decide, this is your life and your choice."

She nodded and reached over to clasp his hand. "I know."

Their eyes remained connected, courage and resolve multiplying with every second until Kate nodded in final acceptance. Whether she wore that badge for another twenty years or walked away in two hours, she knew she had all she needed right next to her.

"Right," she said firmly, "Let's go."

Stepping out of the car, they shared the familiar look that had carried them through the better part of four years together, and walked shoulder-to-shoulder into the building.

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Epilogue to follow soon.


	17. Chapter 17

**In The Hamptons**

**Disclaimer: Still waiting for those ownership papers to arrive. I was told they were in the mail. Until then, still not mine.**

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**Epilogue – one week later**

Every third or fourth wave pushed far enough up the sand to wash over Kate's bare toes as she sat on the edge of one of Castle's obscenely oversized towels in the damp, hard-packed sand. The sky over the Atlantic was the deep blue-grey of late twilight, and the oppressive heat of the day had given way to a comfortably warm evening.

Kate took a deep breath of salt-tinged air and straightened her legs until the water lapped at her calves. She leaned back to rest on her elbows, closed her eyes, and let the sound of the ocean roll over her.

"Want some company?"

The voice was unexpected, but far from unwelcome. _Either he's getting stealthier, or I really am out of it_, she thought as Castle lowered himself onto the towel and scooted next to her.

"Of course," she replied.

A companionable silence stretched between them, but it couldn't last forever. Too much had happened. Still, Castle was the first to speak.

"Glad to be back?"

She didn't know whether the words were only ambiguous to her ears, or if he was deliberately implying their potential dual meaning.

"Back here? Or back on the force?"

_Might was well be clear about it_, she thought.

"Either. Both," he said with a deceptively careless shrug.

"Well, I'm definitely glad to be back here," she affirmed, reaching out to clasp his hand in hers. It felt warm and rough against her palm, and she took a moment to appreciate how good and right it felt to share that small intimacy with him.

"And the other?" he asked hesitantly.

Kate thought back over the past several days, the sleepless nights, the endless frustration, and the churning sickness as four bodies turned to six before they caught the man responsible for the slaughter of so many innocent people. The whole precinct was involved, but no one could deny that it was Det. Kate Beckett and her team that finally broke the case and linked the bread crumbs of trace and circumstantial evidence into an iron-clad narrative that led them to their suspect. But more powerful than all of the negative energy that dogged her for days on end was the sense of relief and justice when it was finally over. It wasn't self-glorification that fueled her sense of accomplishment, but rather a bitter satisfaction that at least this man would never take another life. Other psychopaths would, as would other jealous husbands, angry coworkers, heartless women, ruthless drug dealers, irrational roommates, and confused teenagers. And because they would keep killing, she had to keep fighting for those whose voices were lost in acts of unspeakable violence.

"Yeah. I'm glad," she admitted softly. "I didn't know if I would be, but the truth is, Castle, I can't leave. Not yet. Maybe one day, because for the first time in my life, I can see a future with more options than just solving murder after murder." She said the last part with a penetrating look at him, to let him know it was because of him that those options finally seemed like possibilities instead of pipe dreams. "But right now, this is what I need to be doing – what I want to do."

Castle nodded in understanding, but before he could respond, she continued, finally able vocalize the conflicting thoughts that had been swirling around her brain.

"I know I'm not just my job. Yes, I want to travel, and sleep in on Sunday mornings, and laugh at silly movies, and …" Trailing off, she turned toward him and met his eyes, as deep a blue as the navy sky above them. She wanted him to know she meant every word she was saying. "… and I want to be with you. I want to make this work between us."

He drew her against him, loving her more than he believed his abused heart was capable of. "We will, Kate. I promise we'll make it work – the job, us, fun times, hard times. We're in this together."

She leaned into him, resting her head on his collarbone. So much had clarified for her, and it was past time she embraced who she was and admitted what she truly wanted.

"I know we are. But as much as I want all of the stuff outside of being a detective, I also want us, all of us, helping to bring some peace and closure to those families. We're a good team, and for all that I need to discover who I am without the job, I also need to accept that the job is part of me. I'm not ready to walk away from that yet. Someday, but not today."

The waves lapped at their feet as Castle turned toward her and leaned her back until he was looking down at her lying on the soft terrycloth of the towel. Slowly, he lowered his head until his lips met hers. The kiss was long and slow, as languid as the waves rolling in to meet them.

The kiss deepened, and Castle's body pressed against her as the sand shifted beneath them. His hand grasped her hip before sliding up her torso, dragging her shirt with it until he could feel the warmth of her skin against his fingers.

"Castle?" She murmured into this mouth. "Castle, um ... sand ... remember?"

"Yeah, so?" he whispered back, drawing his mouth along the column of her throat. "Didn't stop us last time."

She managed a single chuckle before his fingers skimmed her breast and turned the sound into a moan. Suddenly, she drew away and brought her hand to the side of his face, lightly caressing his jawline. "I love you, Castle. You know that, right?"

He brought his lips to hers, so gently she could barely feel him. "Yes, I know. I love you, too, Kate. Always will." Rolling over, he dragged her on top of him until her knees bracketed his hips. "Now remind me again why sex on the beach is a bad idea."

Looking down at him, she smiled, letting whatever lingering doubts that still plagued her about her life chase the waves out to sea. Here and now was all that mattered. They had three days before real life reclaimed them again, and she planned to savor every second of it. His family was joining them in the morning, and the rest of their friends were making the drive for an afternoon barbecue. But tonight was theirs alone.

"Never said it was a bad idea," she replied, "just a risky one."

Feeling her body slide along his, and watching as her shirt disappeared over her head, he brought his lips to her skin and kissed a path from the hollow center of her throat to the faded scar nestled between her breasts. This time, when he placed his lips against the small circle of skin, it wasn't to pay homage to the fates that spared her life, but only to draw the aroused gasp from her lips and remind her that before she was a detective, before she was a survivor, she was a woman who deserved to be loved.

Behind them, the tide crept ever higher, but not even the cool sensation of the encroaching water could break the spell of their lovemaking. Lost in the feel of her body aligned with his, surging and receding like the waves around them, Castle gave voice to the single truth that had guided him for four years, "For you, every risk is worth it."

Above him, she clung to his neck, pressing against him as her body crested and finally broke. The undertow of her release washed over him, pulling him willfully under alongside her.

Hours later, clean, dry and asleep beneath the warmth of down comforter, they held tight to each other, and for once were secure in the twined paths of their lives.

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The End

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**Author's Note:** Thank you for sticking this one out with me. Your reviews and encouragement have kept me writing, determined to make sure this story lived up to expectations. I hope you enjoyed it.

Angie


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